Overdue? Maybe... but either way, I'm back!

For today, at least.

I have to say that I've been flattered by the scores upon scores of people encouraging (read: bitching at) me to update this thing.

Okay, maybe not scores... but the fact that anyone at all noticed that this little corner of the ol' interwebs was gathering dust was definitely appreciated by your faithful narrator. That said, my response each time was that I didn't feel I had anything to say, so I kept my fool "mouth" shut. Think about Mark Twain...

Well, turns out the cure for a lack of interesting things to say is to stand and watch people who are perfectly capable of doing their jobs to make sure they're doing them.

You may be asking yourself: What the crap? I wait weeks and weeks for stupid esoteric bullshit? Okay, you might be right... but hear me out...

Right now, my Monday to Thursday consists of getting to a construction site at 7:30am and watching a contractor work until 6:30pm or so, and go home. For those of you scoring at home, with travel time, and such, yes... that's a solid 12 hours of mindless "work" from when I leave home until I return. The bright side? I get to hang out with a technician from another company who periodically tests the work the contractor is doing.

Here's where it gets interesting: I always felt that people seem to tell me way WAY more than I need to know about their personal lives.... but this guy is taking the effing cake. I am aware of the following, keeping in mind I have "known" this dude for a grand total of two weeks, and only through our jobs, at that:

1. Dropped out of high school three times
2. Kicked out of high school twice
3. Had a 2 foot mohawk duing that time
4. Pothead during that same time to the point of smoking "a quarter ounce a day"
5. At one point had to take up to 8 tabs of acid to "peak" (whatever the fuck that means - no, really... I'm not being coy... I have no clue)
6. Now gets acid flashbacks, to the point where he sometimes has to pull over to the side of the road while driving until they pass
7. Has his GED (can't stop thinking of Chris Rock's bit about getting his GED....)
8. Dropped out of college when he "ran out of money"
9. The reason he ran out of money is that he had $5,200.00 is lawyer's fees
10. That lawyer was because he was charged for being passed out (drunk) in his buddy's car in the parking lot of a casino, with the car running. He only turned the car on in order to keep warm because it was the winter (believe it or not, this is a longer story, but I can't be bothered). Anyway, that he got it down to a much lesser charge is the short version.
    

Honestly. Why on earth would you feel obliged to tell ANYONE you've just met all that?!?

GAH!!

Anyway, aside from all that, I have some random assorted sports comments.. so I will get to those Bill Simmons Ramblings-style......

I know everyone out there is cheering against them, but some part of me likes the way the Pats are really sticking it to the NFL. It's like Belichick has all the tools he could ever want now, and isn't playing things close to the vest anymore, since he has 10 times the talent that previous New England teams have had.

The disrespect being show the Raptors as they come back more experienced and deeper than ever is astonishing. I hope they play with a chip on their collective shoulder all season and prove a LOT of people wrong.

As a Jays fan, I couldn't be happier in seeing A-Rod and Joe Torre moving away from the Yankees. As long as Mariano and Posada (among others) take their lead, it's opening a door for a more mature, and hopefully healthier Blue Jay team to make the no longer unreasonable jump into second place, and legit Wild Card contention.

The Leafs (sic) are going to miss the playoffs. Better to accept this now.

Carey Price will take after two fellow rookie Hab goalies (coupla guys names Dryden and Roy) and lead them deep into the playoffs.

By signing Spezza (and Heatley on the even of the season), the Sens have just solidified their future for a long time.

The National League blows. If you thought the best AL team wouldn't just roll over a team from the NL that just snuck into the playoffs by getting hot at the right time, you should pass along a little of whatever you were smoking.

I think that's about it.... I'll try not to wait a month and a half next time, but I can't promise anything.........

Untouched for so long that it's just getting silly

Okay, so this space has gone on close to three weeks without any updates. Needless to say, that's a record of some sort. It certainly says something about something. I think it shows me how I'm starting to feel about this space. I know that for the last few months any actual thought going into my posts has been slowly evaporating, and well.... I clearly don't care like I used to, so I'm not going to be forcing myself to update this thing with any regularity just for updating's sake. That's not to say I won't be, but I'm getting the feeling that I as far as a daily venting of my thoughts, opinions, etc. this space has served its purpose.

I'm coming to this conclusion, as quite frankly, as there have been all kinds of things going on in the last few weeks, which I haven't much felt the need to comment on. At least not here. That said, because anyone reading this space seems to care about what I have to say, I'm going to give you a run down of what's been going on with me as, quite frankly, some of it has been pretty cool. I'm also going to post some funny-type stuff at the end for those of you who enjoy those little pieces of internet wonderfulness that manage to trickle down to me.

First off, as you might recall, the pipe band was off to a contest in Pleasanton, CA again this year. Again, I had the bright idea to just stay up and pack the night before the early morning flight (8:40, but being international... you know.....). Joining me in this great plan were Jaclyn and Jeff (another piper in the band). So we stayed up, watched some movies, and had our pre-flight showers (both to wake ourselves up and for the sake of those sitting beside us) and found ourselves at the airport with plenty of time.

Wanting to check in together, we all waited and waited. With one girl forgetting her drum, another guy forgetting his passport, and a third missing the connecting flight he was supposed to get from Montreal, there was much eye-rolling to go with all the waiting. Group flights are always a clusterfuck, aren't they??

Anyway, the trip ended up being most excellent, in spite of the 105ºF heat (IN THE SHADE!!!). Highlights include actually walking up Lombard St. from the bottom with Jaclyn (one of the few things I managed to miss last year), and beating Windsor on Saturday for the first time this season. Great way to cap what had to be the best season I've ever had in a pipe band. :)

Speaking of the band, change is afoot! We have a new Pipe Major and almost an entirely new drum corps. We're meeting this Sunday to get some details sorted out, but to be honest, the people taking over are some of the guys that I grew up on the games circuit with, playing against each other before any of us were even shaving. Kinda cool. They've been competing in Scotland for the last 6 years, including multiple World Championships with Shotts, so there's definitely some bigtime experience there, despite their age. Should be a nice kick to the balance of power back here in lil' ol' Ontario!

Anyway, life is slowly getting back to normal here, and that is where I will have to leave this tale, as I'm not certain of when I'll be back around these parts. I'll leave you with the following:

This is the suite that a few of us from work (DC, Anand, Gord and myself) will be watching Wednesday's Jays game from! Effing sweet, huh?

Here is a hilarious eBay item that Greg sent me... read the description. Just too much.

And finally, for any of you who once enjoyed Tecmo Bowl on Nintendo, bear witness to the awesomeness that was (is?) Bo Jackson:

A Short List of Things You Never Want to Hear from the Next Urinal

• "Hey, nice watch!"
• "You should probably clean your fingernails."
• "I see you have an Iron Ring."
• "Need a hand with that?"
• "Nice cock."

Summertime Thoughts

You know, with summer winding down, I realise that with some of the more major things in life falling nicely into place, I'm able to appreciate some of the smaller, yet no less significant joys.

Walking to Starbucks on Saturday morning and getting to read a book I'm really quite heavily into*, then that night getting to expand my mind before going to see Superbad (still funny at the end, if you catch my drift). Enjoying the final summer patio after band practice on Sunday (we have practice tonight, and then basically not again until after Thanksgiving, but the patio at night just isn't the same), and then again today, taking a walk to the local Timmy's at lunch, again with book* in hand, and enjoying the sun.

Lately I'm feeling more and more like a damned hippie, but there's something to this whole karma thing... really..... when all is right on the inside, it's amazing how much we enjoy things on the outside.

* - I'm currently about three-quarters of the way through the third book (of seven) of Stephen King's Dark Tower series. It's effing sweet, let me tell you.

PS: I swear I'm sober as a judge.

An Excellent Idea!

In case you haven't heard about this, please read on....

To: Ontario Ministry of Transportation

Original Story
http://www.northumberlandtoday.com/webapp/sitepages/content.asp?contentid=618551&catname=Local%20News&classif=

Let's officially designate 'Highway of Heroes'

In Ontario, when a Canadian soldier dies for his country in Afghanistan they touch Canadian soil at Canadian Forces Base Trenton. From there, a funeral procession leaves the base and heads to Toronto, Ontario taking our departed heroes to the Centre for Forensic Sciences. Along the 172km path of Highway 401 people fill the overpasses to show their support, waving Canadian flags and signs, in a sort of paying their respects to the fallen and their families.

It's been unofficially dubbed the "Highway of Heroes" and I personally would love for an official naming of the 401, from Trenton to Toronto down to the Don Valley Parkway "The Highway of Heroes". It's already called that to the thousands of people who line the bridges along the way and it should be remembered as such in the future for generations to gather and pay their respects.

The final decision is the Ontario Ministry of Transportation and i have contacted them about this. Inspiration to make this petition by "CF Enthusiast" from army.ca. Information provided by Pete Fisher Article and i don't wish to take credit for his information, just trying to get the ball rolling :) Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

If you want to sign it, please go here (I'm #23928!). There is, naturally, also a Facebook Group for the same if that's your bag.

One little "Hey look at me" post in the midst of all the other crap I throw up here shouldn't be a big deal

This week, the PEO approved my application. Once I (naturally) pay a nominal fee, I will be allowed to throw "P.Eng." after my name.

That is just effing cool.

This is probably going to come off all ghey, but...

I had a bit of a moment coming back from Kingston last weekend.

(minor back story: I went to see my parents over the weekend, and also stopped off in Kingston on the way back for Jenna's bday)

Anyway, I noticed that almost from the moment I arrived in Kingston, I was plotting my departure... and for the first time I can remember, I didn't stay until the absolute last conceivable moment. Now, when I think about it, Kingston had always been a kind of oasis for me. A place where I could almost go back in time and live freely and without worries or responsibilies. A kind of Neverland, really.

I guess my point is that I'm glad my life is at such a point where I don't feel the need to squeeze every last drop out of my little escapes from reality. In fact, that there are even reasons that I want to come home!

Part must be that "growing up" thing I've heard so much about...

From the even-growing file: "There Are No Words"

Might I present to you: University of Michigan Offensive Lineman Marques Slocum.

Oh, and be sure to read the comments afterwards...

Genuine Class

There's nothing, and I mean nothing better than shitting all over one of the most important days of someone's life, just because they're famous. :)

I don't even know how much of that was sarcastic. I really don't.

Only funny if you read blogs WAY more popular that this one

James Blunt does a duet with Telly... and somehow this amuses me. Like, a lot.

Contrarian for the sake of contrarian? Actually, no.

So, I believe anyone with a TV many of you have heard that NFL Quarterback Michael Vick is in some kind of trouble over some dog fighting shinannigans.

In fact, he had been taking all kinds of abuse this summer even before that news dropped.

BUT! I actually read a thoughtful response, not absolving him of anything, but at least pointing out that somebody should have seen it coming, and that perhaps he is even worthy of some pity. Not to be forgiven, not to be given a pass... just that perhaps there is a tragic side to this whole ordeal, in that the typical superduperstar athlete (if there can really by such a thing) needs to have a far better support system in place.

PS: The fact that you can still buy jerseys of other NFL players like Ray Lewis, Rae Carruth and, hell, even Orenthal James Simpson (why did I bother even linking that?), while Vick's jersey is not available is laughable. Their crimes were against PEOPLE, damnit! Oy vey....

What? How did I get into this nutshell??

Can you describe Britney Spears in under twenty-five words? The dude at WWTDD can:

God damn, trying to follow this bitch is exhausting. Her entire life is like the punchline to a Jeff Foxworthy joke.

For those interested, yes... it is turning out to be a slow at day week at work...

Things I could live without re-living

I'm going to spare you the sob story as to why I was in this situation last night, mostly because it's not mine to tell... but whatever.

So, last night I'm driving through a cemetary. It's after dark, so we have the high beams on briefly to see exactly where the road is (you NEVER want to veer off the road in a cemetary... I'm not speaking from experience, more a position of terror when I imagine hitting a fucking tombstone).... and to the left I see a couple big piles of dirt. Creepy, but not overly such, as you have to accept a certain amount of earth moving in such a place.

Then I saw him.

I actually saw some guy digging with a shovel.

I can only assume he was digging a grave. At night. And there was nobody else around.

Fuck. Me.

I'm pretty sure I could go the rest of my life quite happily never re-living that particular moment. That's how fucking horros movies start.....

If this doesn't cause a short, sharp intake of breath... I don't know what's wrong with you

(h/t to With Leather, as usual.. but I'll just cut 'n paste what Ufford wrote, anyway...)

I don't know what kind of drugs you need to take in order to get to the point of, "Hey, we should totally throw a cheerleader through the basketball hoop," but I'd like to try them. Because my heroin-ecstasy-cocaine-horse tranquilizer cocktail just isn't cutting it any more. What's that you say? Needs more horse tranquilizer? Oh, that's your solution for everything.

PS. One of the tags on the With Leather post is "Bad Idea Jeans"... gotta love it. :P

PPS. Yes, I did note that she's holding the back of her head afterwards, and sorta pouting. As if that was the worst thing that could have happened.... she's effing lucky to not have been ripped in two!!