“King of All Media” adds another notch to his belt

Okay, so I’m a day late…but yesterday marked the first broadcast by Howard Stern since he left so-called “Terrestrial Radio” December 19th. The new notch on his belt is in the form of Sirius Satellite Radio.

Now, unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last 6 months, you’ve likely heard about the 5-year $500 million contract Howard signed with Sirius to run two stations on their system. Just for the record, that’s not his salary…that’s actually supposed to be used to cover all the costs associated with running both of those stations, from production costs to salaries of his employees. I’m not suggesting that we need to take up a collection for Howard, by any means, but it’s noteworthy that not many reports of the contract make it clear that he’s not pocketing $100 million a year. Some might call this foolish spending, but seeing as at the time he signed this contract that the daily audience for the Howard Stern Show was approximately 10 times the total number of people who has Sirius receivers, it just sounds like good business sense, especially when you consider the rabidly loyal fan base that The King of All Media has. Now, you might be thinking that this (admittedly self-anointed) title of Howard’s is a little much, but do keep in mind that he has without question the highest rated and most innovative show in the history of radio, a best-selling autobiography entitled “Private Parts”, a critically acclaimed movie of the same name (granted, based on the book, but still), and a successful television show on E! that is really only comprised of video shot during his radio show.

Equally, unless you’ve just recently returned from a short stay on the moon, you’re likely all too painfully aware of the ridiculousness that is the FCC since the Janet Jackson non-nipple showing during the Super Bowl. Now, it was the FCC’s virtual single-minded persecution of Howard Stern (they even went so far as to fine him for the content of a clip he played from Oprah when the original airing on Oprah’s own show received NO FINE!) that made the above contract possible. To be honest, it was likely that Howard would have retired this fall rather than sign a new contract to deliver what he called “sub-par shows” any longer. In fact, he claims that he has been held back for upwards of 10 years now, and when I last heard him on his show, and Letterman back in December, he was positively giddy about the prospect of having complete and total creative freedom.

Now, I don’t generally broadcast that I’m a Howard Stern fan, as it often means you get tarred with a certain brush, but hear me out. I actually find the parts of his show that the FCC finds so objectionably rather boring. Sure, the first dozen or so times you hear a stripper describing her panties (or lack thereof), it’s kinda titillating. But honestly? It gets old. I personally enjoy hearing the back-and-forth between Howard and his co-hosts Robin Quivers (who has been with him for something like 20 years) and Artie Lange (a recent addition, of Dirty Work Fame), and their “ask the questions you want to hear the answers to” way of interviewing which is a breath of fresh air compared to the kid-gloves approach you see from the vast majority of interviewers (David Letterman used to be good for this kinda stuff, too, and I’ve seen him make people absolutely squirm – Jennifer Anniston, in particular, of late – but he apparently has locked his balls away and thrown away the key, seeing the way he had his tongue firmly planted up Oprah’s ass last month).

All that said, I haven’t exactly rushed out to get a Sirius receiver. I’m sure I’ll have to eventually, but…well…add it to the list…