Day 2 - Be Careful What You Wish For ...or... Turns out the rules still apply

Fuck. Me.

I woke up Sunday with one of the worst hangovers of my life. Just thinking about it again makes my whole body hurt. I can't say I'm not surprised, though. It was well deserved.

Over lunch (don't for one second think that after a 36 hour bender for me and Greg, and a 48 bender for Jon and Mike, all of which included a cramped piece of shit flight, that we'd even contemplate breakfast), while Greg was still showering, I said to Jon and Mike: "Well, I don't imagine that today could be much more eventful than yesterday."
Mike: "You watch it, there..."
Jon: "Yeah, don't say stuff like that."

A few minutes later, Greg comes down and announces: "Well, I guess we can't get any more drunk than yesterday."
Mike and Jon: "Uh-oh. We're fuct, now."

These two utterances by myself and Greg are what one could commonly term "Famous Last Words." We were now formally waiting for the other shoe to drop.

To be honest, we barely made lunch, which was served from 1 to 4pm, so once we ate is was already getting kinda late. After we have a few drinks, we decide to wander down the main drag in Playa del Carmen, which it turns out is called 5th Ave. Greg and I go searching for the Beach Bar (which it turns out closes at 5pm....and seeing as it's almost 8, was somewhat anti-climactic), while Mike and Jon go off somewhere else. Anyway, Greg and I decide that we need pictures with the big frog outside Senor Frog's...




















You'll notice the weiner dog that is accidentally in Greg's picture. Well, the owner started saying how sorry she was to have gotten in our picture, and then I said "No, actually, I took it faster to make sure we got him in there!" At that point I was offered him to hold so that Greg could get a picture of me. Unfortunately, in our alcohol infused minds, this became the greatest idea ever, and we asked a couple with two other random dogs if we could "borrow" them for this....


In other news, Timo was working the restaurant bar that night. Remember how I said that Timo's a good shit? Turns out Timo's a jerk. The little fucker started sending over Tequila that we hadn't ordered. I think he just liked to see white people vomit...but we didn't cave! We took everything that little bastard could throw at us!! Naw, I'm kidding. Timo was a good guy...he got us drunk! :)

(yes, Timo is standing on a milk crate...)

So after dinner, out comes the first part of the "entertainment". It was a number of dancers doing various dances from around the world, the can-can , for example. Upon seeing one of the female dancers, Mike says: "Oh my God....she's going to be my first ex-wife!"

In other words, he was vaguely enthralled.

Once that was over, and we collected our jaws from the floor, the people who run the "entertainment", Eve from Cuba and Oscar from Venezuela, came over. Naturally, we had befriended them earlier (have I mentioned that we're sociable drunks?), and so they dragged Greg and Jon up on stage to be part of the show.

So, along the way, they get Jon and Greg to play some silly games, but there are a couple of noatable highlights: In one game, they blindfold everyone, then take everyone's blindfold off except Greg. Then they give him a banana, and say that it's a race to finish the banana. Needless to say, Greg scarfs a couple of bananas with the kind of prowess that would excite any gay man....and then Mike and I get the idea to record it wil Jon's digital camera. If I get the video from him, I'll certainly post it, but it basically depicts Greg wolfing down another banana, then Oscar yanking off his blindfold... Greg looks to his left (where all the other "competitors" are sitting looking at him) and leaps up, pretending to hit Jon, and then sits back down, defeated. Then he looks over at me, and notices that I'm filiming him. A discrete middle finger was my reward.

In the next game, each guy had to run around and kiss as many girls as possible, and both Greg and Jon went for the same table to start, which is where we met the first two of our Italian friends, Federica and Luccia (Lucy), as seen below...


But we're not finished! Not even close. I'm not sure how this came about (Mike and I weren't exactly riveted....to be honest, we were replaying the video of Greg on Jon's camera...), but Greg and Jon lost a game (or maybe won...who knows), and so had to drink out of the Tequila bottle. Oh, did I say drink? It was more that Eve would hold the bottle as high as she could, and they were to drink until it spilled out all over them........ In short, they each got about three big gulps of Tequila.

Iain: Ha! That's hilarious!
Mike: It might be funny now...but in about 20 minutes when the show's over, we're going to have to deal with that.......
Iain: Eek..

So while all full of Tequila, Greg starts plotting his revenge on Oscar for the bananas....so he and Jon go looking for Oscar...find him......and (after letting him drop off his cell phone on the deck) toss him in the pool...









So once Banana Man, Mr. Banana, Banana Boy or Senor Banane (take your pick) got his revenge, Timo sent over some more Tequila, and believe it or not, all our new friends left us to continue what we came there to do...

Note the banana on the table.....

So here's where things get a little sketchy...

We all head out on the town, no idea what we're going to get up to, or where we're going. Always a good plan when you're hammered in a strange country, right?

So we're walking (staggering?) down 5th Ave., and Mike and I spy a group of smoking hot ladies going the other way. We quickly pull a U-turn...inadvetantly leaving Jon and Greg behind, but manage to also lose the hotties, so we do what anyone should, we stopped in for a beer at an arbitrary bar. After they closed, we decided to try and find the Blue Parrot again, seeing as we found out this morning (well, this afternoon) that we had gotten two free drinks with our entrance Saturday night, which we were too drunk to notice or take advantage of. So we go there, and get our drinks. Unfortunately, the Shooter Girl (who we vaguely remember from the night before) corners us, starts just pouring shots in our mouth.....once she pours enough to spend all our money (and we tell her this), she keeps going, but gets really pissed and storms off when we try to pay in Canadian money.... Oh well.

After a bit, we decide to roll on home....making what turns into a regular stop at Senor Frog...













Once we wander in the door (again, with a plate of sandwiches), Jon exclaims: "Holy shit! We just got in about as much trouble as you can, and we get home....and you're not here.....we're just hoping you're alive at this point!"

[Editor's Note: The sun may or may not have been coming up at this point, as Mike and I had spent likely the best part of an hour explaining to a couple of kids in the 24-hour bar how exactly one goes about obtaining drugs in Playa del Carmen, as while shopping earlier the in day we had inadvetantly dropped a "code word" and were offered free samples of coke...]

Anyway, turns out Jon and Greg had similar experiences as Mike and I did, in terms of drinking in cheap and sketchy little bars, but then the got seduced by the bright lights of Cozumel (the island closest to where we are staying). They then decided that they needed a boat! Well, they head down to the beach where the fishing boats are kept, and while Greg begins to untie one, Jon jumps into the ocean and starts hauling on the outboard. Turns out there's no gas tank. So they try another one.....then another......and then on the next one, they get a spot light put on them.

SHIT! Policia!

Greg drops the ropes, but they grab him. Light shines on Jon...

Angry Mexican Cop: "What're you doing there?"
Jon (as he releases the pull cord): "Swimming?"

Keep in mind Jon's up to his waist, and is wearing jeans. So they get him outta the water, and with an Uzi pushed against his chest, they hand him handcuffs. Jon, with his wits only vaguely about him, hands them right back to the cop. "No, it's okay. I don't want 'em."

At this point, all we can figure is that the cops thought the two of them were far too drunk to be of any real danger and let them go....they didn't even have to buy their way out, which is about standard operating procedures in Mexico!!

Anyway, to explain the titles (if you care), Greg and I were both proven wrong with our lunchtime assertions, and it's not "laws" that still apply....it's that Greg and Jon aren't allowed to drink alone in Kingston, so we shouldn't have overlooked that in Mexico.........