JT is the new Elvis

I am willing to submit as Justin Timberlake is (rightfully) being crowned the new King of Pop, that we haven't seen a white King of Pop since Elvis. The similarities? They are both white guys playing (traditionally) black music... and while one could argue that Eminem does a pretty decent job in that respect, he's hardly "pop".

Really, this throne has been empty pretty much since Michael Jackson went insane, and while some might argue he could pass for white these days, I say it's more of a white woman, so I feel my point is still valid.

But back to my point.... think about it. Two young hearthrobs with their images and music being crafted by a music mogul (Elvis' Colonel... Justin with Pharrell Williams at first, and more recently Timbaland). One major difference? Justin's hip waggling is apparently acceptable to parents, while Elvis' was more assuredly not.

I think that's about all I can think of right now. Feel free to rebutt my claim...

Flow 93.5 is slowly turning into easy listening

I knew it was getting bad when they changed their tagline from "Toronto's Hip Hop & R 'n B" or "Toronto's Urban FM" to "Hits that move you".... and I knew it was getting worse when I figured out that the new morning show pairing of Slim and Melanie (replacing the absolutely incredible Mark Strong and Jemini, whom you may know from Video on Trial) included the same Melanie that used to work for Z103.5 .... but it finally hit home this morning: I know where I know Slim's voice from. I swear he has the same voice Dave Chappelle uses to make fun of white people.

It's going to end badly for what was, for a while at least, the only cool radio station in TO.

Hinder is straight up fuct

Let's be honest... almost everyone has done something stupid in a relationship, has had a kind of screwed up relationship, or was just plain unhappy, and so they acted out in way that they may have perhaps regretted (I pretty much just raised a "Stay Away" sign by assuming all this was normal, huh? oh well....), but wow. This dude (or whoever the hell writes their music... I can't be bothered to Google it right now) either knows how to make up hilariously crazy shit, or makes my dating track record look fabulous.

Let's recap, shall we? Their two biggest hits:

Get Stoned... ostensibly about picking fights with your gf when you're high cuz it makes for great sex. I'm not saying this is untrue, I'm just saying you don't hear many songs about it. I'm going to stop talking and move on now....

Lips of an Angel... which could pass for a nice little quasi-power ballad... right up until you actually listen to the lyrics, which I am prone to do. The dude's signing about his mistress (who may be his ex), to whom he is talking on the phone with his "real" gf in the next room. Touching, huh?

Good Friend/Bad Friend?

Sometimes we have to make decisions. And when you're getting bought drinks, those decisions tend to be the easiest one, which is often just to stay put and keep having drinks bought for you.

What the hell am I on about now?

Well, last night I was supposed to join a bunch of my high school friends in celebrating Nora successfully defending her thesis and getting her Master's. I missed it entirely. Why? I am a sucker for free drinks, and a sucker for a sob story. When the two are put together, there's not a whole lot I can do. One of the new guys in the band, for whatever reason, took a liking to me and started talking about old times, and how the band's going in the right direction and all this bullshit... and then he drops on me some personal hard luck (which I don't feel comfortable sharing here), just before buying me another beer. He snuck another one in when I went to the bathroom. What's a guy supposed to do? Next thing I know, it's loooooong after when we were supposed to meet for dinner. Oops.

Thankfully, Nora's one of the most genuinely kind people I know, and was very understanding when I called later after checking out the restaurant and seeing that they had all left already.

Weird Realization

I was out for a few pints on Saturday night with a couple of guys I know through pipe bands. One of them I played with back in about '98, and we've just kinda kept in touch, while the other is a guy in the band I play wtih right now.

Now, on the surface, this doesn't seem particularly noteworthy... but, these are quite literally the only two people that I have ever competed on the field with that I see socially outside of piping venues.

Weird, huh?

For all the time spent in pipe bands, and all the time spent drinking both in conjunction with pipe bands and otherwise, there are honestly only two people that have ever been a part of both? I think that's just crazy.

And okay, you might argue that there are others that I met through piping that I see (or at least have seen) socially, too, but considering the amount of time and comraderie in a competing pipe band, wouldn't you think that there are more than two that I've competed with?

Just struck me as odd.

Holy Crap

It's something we all know, but I've never seen it phrased so eloquently....

This is f'ing genius. And that's all I'm going to say about it.

Better late than never, right?

Never afraid to rip others' hard work off, here we go... Bill Simmons recently had some costume hints:

My four costume ideas for this year:

No. 1: Lindsay Lohan
Wear a red wig and look completely strung out for about 30 minutes. Then go to the bathroom, fix your makeup, stick a pair of grapefruits in your bra and come back out looking like a million bucks. Thirty minutes later, go back in the bathroom, mess your makeup up and take the grapefruits out. And just keep rotating the two looks all night and confusing the hell out of every guy there.

No. 2: A female figure skater and her coach
You need a figure skating outfit, ice skates and a male friend willing to act as effeminate as possible for the entire night. Plus, this is one of those secretly slutty columns that will look better as the night goes on.

No. 3: Carrie covered in pig blood on her prom night
My personal favorite. Buy a hideous prom dress and a red wig, then dump a couple of quarts of cranberry juice all over yourself and walk around with a crazy look on your face like you're Ron Artest after the Palace melee. There will be at least one guy at the party who gets turned on by crazy chicks and will want to hook up with you. You can't lose.

No. 4: Suzy Kolber and Joe Namath
Just a perky outfit, a short wig and a microphone for the girl and a Jets jersey and fake nose for the guy and you're ready to go. Not only can the guy playing Namath drink all night without hurting his impersonation, but other guys will step in asking, "I just want to kiss you, I just want to kiss you." Any costume that leads to multiple guys asking to kiss you has to be a winner.

In the past he has been equally hilarious, and yet offering an interesting take on the whole Hallowe'en experience (in response to a mailbag question, hence the tone), so I give you this....

The Sports Gal is going as a mother of a young baby who doesn't sleep enough -- a permanent scowl and eye bags and you're all set. But I'm glad you asked because a person's Halloween costume says a lot about them, especially females. Halloween costume choices are distant cousins of playing pool at a bar. In bar pool, there are two types of women -- the ones who bend over because that's the only real way to make a successful shot, or the ones who perform a half-crouch so their butt doesn't stick out ... hence, jeopardizing their chances and proving to everyone that they don't really care about winning the game, and they're only playing so guys will check them out.

(Just for the record, I dated only two half-crouchers, and neither of them lasted long. Any woman worth her salt will bend over, stick her butt out, try to make the shot and deal with the consequences of random drunken dudes leering at her rear end. This separates the keepers from the pretenders if you're choosing a mate for life -- I'm telling you. Don't end up with a half-croucher. These are also the women who wear makeup to bed during the first 6-7 weeks you're dating and pretend they never go to the bathroom until you've been dating for like four years.)

Anyway, here are the three groups of female Halloween costumes:

Group A: Girls who use their costumes as an excuse to get attention from guys. Common examples include the slutty bunny/cat/genie/nurse/angel/cop/french maid/schoolgirl or slutty anything-with-a-tail. Please note, I'm not against any of these costumes -- in fact, I support and applaud them. Mainly because they can be the equivalent of somebody holding up a sign and saying either, "I'm up for some casual sex tonight" or "I'm definitely ready to start cheating on my boyfriend." But here's the problem: Sometimes the girls who make these choices are the quiet/uptight/prudish types who think this is their way of letting loose for the year. So it's almost like playing roulette, trying to figure out what their intentions are.

(By the way, for a less trendy, somewhat slutty costume, you might want to break out the cowgirl or dominatrix gimmicks -- more elaborate, more expensive, but also more respectable, more commendable. You can't go wrong. If you don't have the money, steal it.)

Group B: Girls who go overboard and end up stuck wearing a sweaty mask or costume that legitimately hinders them for the entire night. This is bad -- like Donna Martin dressing as a mermaid for the West Beverly High Halloween party. Could potentially kill your night. Plus, you always get like four monster zits after wearing a sweaty Halloween mask for too long.

Group C: Girls who are downright creative with their costumes. For instance, two years ago at the "Jimmy Kimmel Live" Halloween party, Sarah Silverman dressed up as Sexy Hitler (basically, Hitler in drag as a sexy woman). People at the party were floored. In fact, my editors are floored right now as they decide whether this paragraph can run. But those are the costumes you end up remembering, not the 550,000,000th person who dressed up like a slutty cat.

Without further ado, four suggestions for Halloween, 2005:

Costume No. 1: "Taradise"
This bangs out the "I'm still cute, you might want to think about hooking up with me later" angle, but it's also funny -- you need a blonde wig, a slutty outfit, a liquor bottle, smeared lipstick, fake scrapes on your knees and giant fake knockers. And you just need to stumble around and scream crazy things while your friends hold you up. Later, when you get drunk and start acting like this for real, people will assume that you're still playing the "Taradise" role. This also works for Courtney Love if you want to go in that direction.

Costume No. 2: Stripper
If you're going slutty, go all out -- wear a stripper's outfit, stick dollar bills in your garter belt and carry around a makeshift stripper's pole. Why not go all the way? People will notice you. Especially if you're attending a party that includes Clinton Portis.

Costume No. 3: Nicole Richie
Dress in a skeleton outfit, only with fancy clothes on. Can't miss and a guaranteed laugh when someone asks who you are.

Costume No. 4: Generic Women's College Basketball Coach
My personal favorite. First, go to Marshall's and buy the ugliest beige pants suit you can find. Second, buy a Nancy Reagan wig. Third, buy 8-inch high heels and practice walking awkwardly in them. Fourth, learn how to do that whistle where you stick your index and pinky fingers in your mouth, then make an excruciatingly loud noise. And you're good to go.

Okay.... now you're on your own.

Breaking News!

Seeing as it's the Saturday for Hallowe'en and I was planning on being in Detroit this weekend, I obviously put exactly zero thought into anything vaguely resembling a "costume", I have only one solution.

I'm going out as a "student during exams"... I haven't shaved in 3 days, I'm wearing dirty jeans, a hoodie and a baseball hat.

Let the good times roll!!

Soccer Hooliganism

This morning, I was starting to read a book I borrowed from Amr called "How Soccer Explains the World", which sounds like the author's biting off a rather large chunk here, but so far has actually proved rather interesting.

It is basically broken up into little stories about various clubs and their supporters, illustrating how their little corner of the soccer world explains a certain aspect of society, and in many cases helps to explain Glabalization. It's all well and good, mostly well researched, and fairly well written.

Two stories have jumped out at me, and while they were the first two, and maybe the rest have kind of sloshed together as I read, I think it's because one is the case that I can most closely find a somewhat parallel to, and the other is, in fact, one I kinda of grew up with.

First, there's a tale about Serbian side Red Star Belgrade. It starts off telling us about how soccer hooligans from the former Yugoslavia are generally considered the most violent in the world, even going so far as to interview a dude who openly admits to gathering "their toughest guys at one end of the stadium by a small outcropping of trees. Each thug carried a metal bar or wooden bat ... and began to rampage ther way around the stadium, beating anyone in their path."

Now, think about that. All you Leaf and Sen fans think you hate each other. This is just fucking insane. I've been to Bills-Dolphins games, and the worst thing I saw was some dude flambaying a marlin while standing on top of a van. This makes anything here look like a goddamned tea party!

Best part? It gets worse!

That same guy from above goes on record for thinking that they occupy the moral high ground compared to their rivals, as there is "no use of firearms, no beating of the enemy after he loses consciousness." Gee, thanks guys... and here I thought you were mean.

Going beyond the simple hooliganism, the part that stunned me was that during that little skirmish you may have heard about when Yugoslavia was torn apart, the Serbian "Army" was actually a guerilla faction of Red Star's fans! Can you imagine Habs fans forming a guerilla army in order for Quebec to be able to fight the Canadian Armed Forces if their succession turned violent?

Okay, maybe that was a bad example.... :P

The other thing that got me was when he started in on the Old Firm, a.k.a. Glasgow Rangers vs. Glasgow Celtic. Now, I was brought up in a family where my mum's side immigrated from near Glasgow when my mum was 11. Needless to say, there are strong feelings regarding which side I am supposed to cheer for, and it really pissed me off when the author when on about all the atrocities that Rangers fans had inflicted upon Celtic fans. Like, really. I'm not suggesting that 'Gers supporters are exactly little angels (far from it), but at least tell both sides of the story here, huh?

I don't think I'm asking for much.

Obey the Sign!

Oddly Conflicted

So.

I'm not going to see Game 6 of the World Series. Mostly because the Cards assured that there would be no Game 6 back in Detroit.

Now, I should actually be happy about this. And I guess I am. This is, after all, the first time a team I cheered for has won a major championship since 1993 (Blue Jays and Habs... it was a good year to be me!). But I'm actually mostly disappointed. I think I had really started to look forward to it.

And not only the game itself, but the road trip that went along with it, no matter how much of a bad idea (more on that later) it would work out to be. That was going to be epic....

But it was not meant to be. On the bright side, I just saved myself about $400.00 US... but whatever. I'd still have rathered to go...

Oh, right... why was the trip itself going to be such a bad idea? Well, you'll notice that it's after 11:30pm right now. That'd be about when we left our seats tomorrow night, getting back to the car, and then driving back to London.... well, I would have had to leave London by 8am, as I had agreed (before this whole idea came up) that I'd play at the Centennial Service for the church I practice my pipes at, which starts at 11am, and thus I'd need time to get home, change, and all that. I'm not sure that's the best state to be having to deal with little church ladies, but whatever. I could have done it.

It's times like this I remember why I know not to get my hopes up.

I just wish I'd follow my own advice now and again.

Sports Journalists Basically Talk to Hear Their Own Voice

Aside from the fact that I use the term "journalists" in the loosest way possible, I have to take issue with something I heard on the radio on my way out to practice at the church tonight.

Some douchebag on the FAN (yes, I listen to sports talk radio now... I blame DC) was talking about how the Cardinals' manager (Tony LaRussa) was silly for bumping Jose Reyes for Jeff Weaver to start tonight, basically because Reyes "earned" the start by pitching really well in Game 1, while Weaver didn't overly distinguish himself in Game 2.

I say bullshit. They were basically equally crappy over the course of the season (Reyes with a 5.06 ERA, Weaver at 5.18)... so wouldn't one think that Reyes' start was an anomoly of the highest proportions? The dude threw an 8-inning gem, whereas Weaver was just slightly worse than normal. Maybe FJM has brainwashed me, but doesn't the term "small sample size" mean anything to these people?!? Pardon a moment of nerdiness, but isn't Reyes more likey to regress to the mean? Or worse?!? Whereas Weaver is a relatively known, while still not overly impressive, quantity?

And don't get me started on the idea of pushing Chris Carpenter back to Game 7 if he can pitch Game 6. Why wouldn't you want your ace going with the chance to close out the series as soon as possible?!? Okay, I should stop. I'm starting to get upset.

Actually, considering I'm arguing the point that LaRussa made the right call, even though I kinda want the Cards to lose tonight (thereby forcing a Game 6 for me to attend!) might be a glimpse into how I just like to argue for the sake of arguing... in fact, I often make wildy inaccurate statements that I don't even believe, just to see if anyone will call me on them. Some might consider this assholish, but I just find it an interesting socialogical experiment...

Or maybe I really am just a jerk. :)

Just so that nobody's worried...

This guy is not me. :)

You will probably laugh when you read this

But on November 3rd, I'm going to be giving about a 40-minute presentation to 4th year Apple Math students...

About my career, and how my experiences at Queen's have helped me.

Of course, after you stop laughing, assuming you actually know me beyond a casual level, you will kind of nod knowingly that I will do a decent job of it. Hell, you may not have even laughed (much).

I plan to discuss how as an engineer you have to be more than book smart, or people don't respond to you. In fact, you become one of "those" engineers that every tradesman (err.. tradesperson) hates. And you don't want the boilermaker or pipe fitter or carpenter or sheet metal worker or whomever that actually has to do the work to build your design to hate you.... cuz I promise, they'll do a crappy job, and just blame it on the design. I've seen it done.

My point: Don't be a snobby fucking prick. You're not better than anyone because you have some fancy-ass degree behind you.... never forget that.

Stuff from this week

It seems that the removal of the construction manager from my project at work (ostensibly putting me as the primary contact at the jobsite... which should scare anyone close enough to Oakville to hear/feel a gas explosion) has put a major cramp in my blogging.

That and the fact that I have been piping again, and watching baseball rather intently, I seem to have left a lot on the table this week. In fact, I have several semi-coherent diatribes that I just don't have time to actually compose right now... but in place of that, I'm going to just hit you up with a few gems from the last coupla days......

It's oddly comforting to, while there are frost warnings almost every day, and having seen snow while in Kingston, be able to reach for the golf towel in my pipe box (gleefully nicknamed "sweat rag" by Jenna) and smell sunscreen. Or maybe that's just a sign I need to wash it. Whatever.

The massive pile of clothes in my bedroom has taken on a life of its own. It has eveloped my laundry basket, and now blocks my closet and most of one of my dressers (yes, I have three dressers.... I have significantly more clothes than your average heterosexual male... shut up!). I'm not even sure what to do anymore. I think I'm going to just ignore it and hope it goes away.

Turns out when I haven't had a decent night's sleep in a week, have been hungover for half of that week, and spend all day out in the cold watching other people work (as in they're working, thereby keeping them warm... but not you) is a recipe for making me incredibly moody. And of course, "moody" is a codeword I like to use for "bitchy".

Interestingly, it turns out that the ill feelings between some of the terminal operations guys and the former construction manager didn't reflect badly on me at all. In fact, when I saw them for the first time on Tuesday (I was at another site on Monday), they cheerfully holler (you can tell the difference between happy yelling and angry yelling) at me that some stuff for my project has been delivered to the wrong place, throw me a set of keys to one of the terminal trucks, and tell me to go pick it up. Needless to say the radio was set to 95.3FM (that's a country sation)... which made me laugh, as later that night, Greg's car was turned to that when we got in.

Oh, they have also Christened me "Gumby" (one of them gives everyone nicknames, and he hd been struggling with mine for months...), which made me laugh, as that was my dad's pipe band nickname (he even kept a little Gumby in his pipe box) and I had managed to somehow avoid it for 26 years.

Last but not least, my buddy Bernard (who is Chinese) sent me this. Way to set human rights back 40 years, Scotland... well done!!

Cuz that's what I needed...

I'm not sure how it came about, but I have somehow managed to find a more self-indulgent thing to fill my time on the internet....

Facebook.

Now, onto my morbid (and very real) fear that Greg is coming to watch Cards-Tigers Game 3 tomorrow... I'm still having a leetle issue forming coherent thoughts due to my escapades in Kingston this weekend, and my body basically recoils at the thought of another beer.

This can only end well.

Something to ponder...

With a minor reshuffling of the corporate hierarchy, I was just getting a very brief (what you can only really call) "exit report" from the construction manager for the project I'm woking on, when he casually mentions that the president of the General Contractor on site was always pissed whenever they spoke after noon... more as a "heads up" than anything, I imagine...

Then he asks, "So, do you drink?"
Me: Yeah, you could say that.
Him: That's alright... myself, I quit a few years back.
Me: I should probably consider that, too.
Him: What?! How old are you?
Me: Twenty-six.
Him: Oh, you've got a solid ten more good drinking years left in ya...
Me: {Incredulous}
Him: Really, until your kids are old enough to notice, don't worry about it.
Me: {oddly comforted}

I'm going to miss working with him....

Something Kinda Cool

Last night I finally got to see erstwhile "shock jocks" (I hate that term) Opie and Anthony on Letterman.

They have apparently recently been hired back from oblivion by CBS Radio and XM Satelite radio. Their personal hatred of Howard Stern (which is very much reciprocated, and hence why they're not on Sirius) has not waned, but seeing them in the media for the first time in years brought back a hilarious memory, as I had actually been listening to their afternoon show from New York the very day they were fired for their third annual "Sex for Sam" contest, which ended poorly. Made for great radio, tho...

For the record, they swear that they didn't intend for any of the contestants to actually go to St. Patrick's... they just thought it'd be funny to mention it on the list of potential locations.

Whatever...

PS: If you read it, yes... a "2-point conversion" was, in fact, a 2 point bonus.

PPS: There was one incident earlier in the contest where you actually heard a 2-point conversion happen (each couple had a "spotter" that was calling in to help keep score and ensuring they went everywhere they claimed). It was quite the yelp, I must say. An odd combination of making my skin crawl, and mildly arousing. Okay, maybe that was an overshare......

Somtimes Greg is useful!

I just got the call... assuming it goes that far, I'm going to World Series Game 6 in Detroit with his buddy Dan and his brother Jake.

F'ing A!

Now either the Cards or Mets have to figure out how to hold off the Tigers that long........

My Personality... or so I'm told.....

Having taken a little test to find out my temprement, I feel compelled to share the results, as while certain aspects of this ring true, others seem waaaaaay off....

Guardians are the cornerstone of society, for they are the temperament given to serving and preserving our most important social institutions. Guardians have natural talent in managing goods and services--from supervision to maintenance and supply--and they use all their skills to keep things running smoothly in their families, communities, schools, churches, hospitals, and businesses.

Guardians can have a lot of fun with their friends, but they are quite serious about their duties and responsibilities. Guardians take pride in being dependable and trustworthy; if there's a job to be done, they can be counted on to put their shoulder to the wheel. Guardians also believe in law and order, and sometimes worry that respect for authority, even a fundamental sense of right and wrong, is being lost. Perhaps this is why Guardians honor customs and traditions so strongly--they are familiar patterns that help bring stability to our modern, fast-paced world.

Practical and down-to-earth, Guardians believe in following the rules and cooperating with others. They are not very comfortable winging it or blazing new trails; working steadily within the system is the Guardian way, for in the long run loyalty, discipline, and teamwork get the job done right. Guardians are meticulous about schedules and have a sharp eye for proper procedures. They are cautious about change, even though they know that change can be healthy for an institution. Better to go slowly, they say, and look before you leap.

Guardians make up as much as 40 to 45 percent of the population.

Any thoughts?

To clarify my ramblings....

I think the point I was trying make below stemmed from having gone for a {cough} few drinks last night with, while not a friend I see often (although being halfway around the world might have an effect on that), someone that I am still pretty close to.

You know those conversations where you could have seen the person two days ago, or two years ago?

Yeah.

I'm not going to say that we haven't had our share of ups and downs (for the sake of clarity, we dated for two years in high school... as with all "serious"* high school relationships, it ended badly), but having known someone really well from that young an age, you kinda know them before they became who they grew up to be. I can't possibly think of something that she could tell me that would change my opinion of her... and I think I've managed to test that theory from my side, and it seems to hold.

I guess it's another one of my little "rebalancing" moments, where I get to remind myself about the important things in life, at least to me.

* - I used quotes here, as really... in high school? it's all bullshit... "serious" is a realtive term, but still... it was two years... hard to describe it otherwise....

Let a drunk man ramble...

Sometimes we need to be reminded that we have friends in this world that are more than just friends.

We all have friends that we know we can just implicitly trust, no questions asked.

Those are the friends that make life worth living. Take time to notice how wonderful it is to have them around.

That is all.

Just some further proof....

....that Steve Lyons is a jackass.

Just sayin'... :)

Why playoff baseball is cool

Tonight was a perfect example of why I can't get enough playoff baseball....

After Tom Glavine throws a gem last night for the Mets, my boys from St. Louis were down 1-0 in the series.... BUT! have their ace, 2005 Cy Young winner and leading 2006 candidate Chris Carpenter (yes, the former Blue Jay... imagine if they held on to him? but I digress...) going tonight in New York, hoping to avoid going down 0-2 in the series. He was actually scheduled for Game 3 back in St. Louis, but with the rainout on Thursday, he was able to move up in the rotation.... anyway....

In the..... Very. First. Inning. He gives up a 3-run bomb to another former Jay, Carlos Delgado... Not good. Not good at all. They were supposed to win this game on Carpenter's pitching, much like the Mets won Game 1 on Tommy Glavine's back.

Anyway, the Cards claw back and tie it 4-4, only to go down 6-4 after another Delgado blast. Then, with a couple of guys on base, Scott Speizio, who was almost out of baseball last year, and was only playing because the Cards' All-World Third Baseman Scott Rolen was hurt comes through with a near-home run that goes off another former Jay, Shawn Green's, glove for a game-tying triple.

Top of the 9th... New York's high priced closer, Billy Wagner, comes in and gets to a full count on the leadoff hitter in the inning, So Taguchi (if you have no idea who that is, that's kind of the point) who was brought in the previous inning as a defensive repalcement... not wanting to walk him and face the best hitter in the world, Albert Pujols, with someone on base, Wagner throws him a fastball right down Broadway.

Boom. 7-6.

The cards tack on a couple more runs (including another RBI from Speizio) to make it 9-6, and preserve the win, including a gem of a defensive play from Rolen who came in for the bottom of the 9th.

My point? At the beginning of the game, all was lost for the Cards... Carpenter got shelled early, Pujols was in the midst of a career-high slump (0 for 12 or something, I think), and it looked like they were headed home down 0-2. A few scant innings later, Pujols is affecting the game, getting two hits late (even scoring one of the tack on runs), and they got the split in NYC they came for...

As Chris Berman likes to say, "That's why they play the game."

PS: Having read in Bill Simmons' Game 1 diary his impression that Mets fans don't trust Wagner, it was never more apparent than the hush that kind of came over the crowd when he came in in the 9th with the game tied. I almost expected him to lose it, and you got the feeling they did, too... Quite the momentum shift, huh?

PPS: New York's bullpen also threw 5 long innings... and with 4 games in 4 days coming up, that'll have an effect for sure. They're in trouble if Steve Trachsel (STEVE TRACHSEL!) doesn't give them a good outing tomorrow. Big trouble.

Just to make sure Berns hates me forever...

This is the kind of Friday I can get used to...

Some days it's better that I just sit at my desk surfing the internet than attempting to do anything.

Those days follow 3-hour lunches at pubs.

Don't tell the 5 voicemails on my cell when we got out of the pub that, tho......

And you wonder why I don't tell you where I work. :)

Numerology is cool, creepy, and mildly interesting...

Friday the 13th is here, and it's no ordinary Friday the 13th!

To see why, let's add up the digits of today's date:

October 13, 2006 = 10/13/2006

1+0 + 1+3 + 2+0+0+6 = 13 !

Spooky, don't you think? This makes today a VERY significant day. The last time this happened was Friday, January 13, 1520!

(PS: I promise I didn't come up with this on my own...)

Moments ago...

I walk into the men's room, only to hear a loud cell phone ring coming from one of the stalls....

Thankfully, he doesn't answer it... but I still got a chuckle out of that.

Then, as I'm thinking to myself, "Welcome to the 21st Century, huh?"

...my phone rings in my pocket.

Karma is a bitch.

Hot or Not? Well, only one of those...

...cuz really, who cares about not hot??

With a certain Ms. Johansson making "news" again, I started a'thinkin'...

It didn't take me long to award her just about the ultimate compliment I can give a woman: "I'd do 'er." And really, who wouldn't? Look at her! Plus, I hear she's pretty damned fun, too....

But who else rates highly enough to be mentioned in the same deep, sensual breath as my dearest Scarlett?

Any discussion of this nature has to include the obviously gorgeous, yet kinda-scares-me-only-somehow-that-makes-her-hotter Angelina Jolie.

Seriously... I'm not sure Pavlov intended for fear of personal safety to coincide this intensely with sexual desire. I'm a little worried about my own psyche, and yet I'm still up for it...

I think I need a cold shower.

No I don't... let's continue....

Okay, I think I'm just going to start naming names. Amy Lee. Wow. If I needed to, I wouldn't just be sober... I'd stop drinking forever. I'm serious. She is just incredible, and that voice!!! Kinda makes my knees weak... and those big steamy eyes....

Yeah. Yum.

Now, I don't watch Lost, as frankly, I watch more than enough TV already, but Ms. Lilly is making me wish I did.... like, a lot (click on the picture... the smaller version does not do her justice).

Does she wear stuff like this on the show? And if so, how come nobody's telling me about it? It has to be an awfully well done show if she's prancing around like this all episode, and the only thing people can talk about is how well it's written...

Well, moving down the dial a bit to FOX, I have recently become more of a Rachel Bilson fan. I've never been a big fan of hers, and maybe this just paints me as a giant weirdo, but this candid photo shoot tipped the scales. Like, I had always liked her better than Mischa "Someone Get Me A Sammich" Barton... but I also always thought she was overshadowed by the short lived character Alex (played by Olivia Wilde). And I can assure you, while I became smitten with her prior to the whole lesbian thing.... that didn't exactly hurt things, either. But really, how could you not fall for those smouldering eyes.... Of all of Seth's exes to bring back, why Anna and not Alex, damnit?!? Not that I have anything against Samaire Armstrong, per se... but given the choice......

I won't bore you further with any rantings about the always lovely Katherine Heigl, as really, her character having gone slightly insane has made me start to lose interest a bit... now, don't get me wrong... I'm still not kicking her outta bed for eating cookies, but, well... I don't know. I'm not sure I have a point anymore.

Now, briefly, for those female and non-traditional male readers out there, I'll throw you a bone.... ahem.. whatever. Here's a lil' Captain Jack for yee...

But I maintain... hot is hot. I can appreciate Mr. Depp on a supercifial level without necessarily wanting to "rail" him (or vice versa, I guess...). I don't think it makes me gay. The dude's hot. Get over your homophobic selves.

Also, if you haven't already figured out that this entire post was just an excuse to google pics of hotties for a while, well... you just don't know me very well.

Cory Lidle... myopic pilot, or closet terrorist? You decide!

With recent news in which former Blue Jay Cory Lidle crahed his plane into the 20th floor of a Manhattan apartment building, killing two, himself included.

Many are blaming this on the fact that Lidle only had his pilot's licence for 7 months, but they're not getting the whole picture....

What had been widely undocumented was Lidle's growing discontent with the direction of his country, and the Bush administration in particular....

It wasn't long ago that Cory was quite happy...















But as time passed, his discontent grew....
















Until today.

What... too soon?

Trey Parker and Matt Stone: Clairvoyants

You don't hear that every day, now do you?

I don't tend to make it my business to comment on current events (well, at least not in terms of politics) but I can't avoid this, now that Amr pointed it out to me..... Have you seen Team America? Are you aware of what's going on between the UN and North Korea?

From the movie:

Kim Jong Il: Hans Brix? Oh no! Oh, herro. Great to see you again, Hans!
Hans Blix: Mr. Il, I was supposed to be allowed to inspect your palace today, but your guards won't let me enter certain areas.
Kim Jong Il: Hans, Hans, Hans! We've been frew this a dozen times. I don't have any weapons of mass destwuction, OK Hans?
Hans Blix: Then let me look around, so I can ease the UN's collective mind. I'm sorry, but the UN must be firm with you. Let me in, or else.
Kim Jong Il: Or else what?
Hans Blix: Or else we will be very angry with you... and we will write you a letter, telling you how angry we are.

And in real life...

Like, seriously... is Kim Jong Il going to release a single entitled "I'm so rone-ree" now??

Bloody hell....

For those attempting to keep their sanity... or what's left of it...

Don't listen to a CD on which your cell phone ring is featured... and especially not when it's something like Disturbed's The Sickness, as just about every song (at one point or another) will make it seem like your phone is ringing.... and for good measure, don't drive with the windows down, and the music cranked so that you couldn't hear it without trying, anyway, and so kinda have to keep an ear open...

Actually, do what you like, I couldn't really care less... but don't say I didn't warn you.

Why capitalization is important!

Iain says: Fuck it, dude... I'm going home.

Stephen says: give it to the man dude

Stephen says: umm, that sounded bad

Iain says: LOL

Stephen says: haha

Iain says: "The Man".... not "a man" ...capitalization is important...

Stephen says: lol...true dat

This Week's Entry in the "Cheering for a team so I can drink more" file

I'm a Cardinals fan.. okay, well, they're my National League team, but whatever. They make the playoffs, and the Jays don't, so I get to cheer for them longer each year.

Greg is a Tigers fan, having grown up in Southwestern Ontario, and all...

I'm pretty sure if the Tigers beat the A's and the Cards beat the Mets there will have to be roadtrips in order to settle who "wins" this (my place for Cards games, his for Tigers..?). And I'm just about certain drinking games can be invented (chug a beer every time your team strikes out..? shots for homeruns hit or given up?) that will shorten both of our lives, but will make for great stories duing those shortened lives.

So, GO CARDS!

(but, Go Tigers, too!)

Night of the Living Dead: Nickname Edition

Weird development.... some of the guys at site have taken to calling me "Young Iain".... which strikes me odd, as I haven't been called that in (honestly) 10 years... and that was in a pipe band, where "Iain/Ian" is slightly more prevalent, and I was, in fact, the youngest Iain... and while that would most often result in "Little Iain", I was actually bigger, or at least equal, in stature than the other Iain/Ians, and thus this wouldn't apply...

Not sure why this matters, but it struck me as odd, so bite me...

Steve Lyons is a moron

If you were watching the A's-Tigers game tonight, you may have heard Steve Lyons prove (again) that he's a complete and utter moron with this little gem:

When healthy, Rich Harden might have the best stuff in the American League.

In short, no, Steve, he doesn't. And it's not really even up for debate. Richie's a good Canadian boy and all, and I'll admit he's pretty good, but I have a few guys to submit as being substantially better than our boy Rich (career ERA+: 123, career WHIP: 1.269) ..... in fact, he wouldn't have even been the second best pitcher in the A's last playoff series!!

Who's better, you ask? That's easy.... both Johan Santana (144, 1.099) and Francisco Liriano (163, 1.016) of the Twins are much better.

I wouldn't even say Harden's the best pitcher in the AL with a last name starting with 'H'... that's the Jays' Roy Halladay (130, 1.230).

I'm not even going to get into the concept that Santana and Halladay are perennial Cy Young candiates, while Harden has never pitched 200 innings... cuz that'd be mean... oh, whoops.... I guess I did bring it up....

But in all seriousness, I'm not saying Rich isn't pretty good, and that I'd rather him start than that overrated nutjob Barry Zito (127 1.250) whose career numbers and buoyed by a fast start to his career when the A's still had Tim Hudon and Mark Mulder (who seem to also be stinking out the joint on their own.... maybe there's more to that.... but, whatever......), it's just that that ridiculous hyperbole was a bit much. Yes, it will make a pretty big difference to have him pitch rather than someone like Kirk Saarloos (93 1.509), but he's not the second fucking coming of Sandy Koufax, either...

Point being: Steve Lyons has a below-average intellect and needs to be quiet. However, the fact that he is paid by FOX to talk (about baseball, of all things) will likely make this not happen very soon.

[Yes... this was my little FJM-esque rant for the day.... bite me.]

Eight Letters, Three Words

Now, maybe it's because I've had a couple of exes re-enter my life to varrying degrees in the last little while... or because I had a round trip to the cottage with nothing but the same CDs that have been in my car all summer (leading to much zoning out), but whatever the reason, I feel like spilling a few random thoughts...

It's the ultimate "you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone" kinda of thing. And yet, more often than not, our fantasies far surpass our realities.

Often the longing we experience when someone moves out of our lives is due mostly to the very human tendency of only remembering the good times... and rarely the (often logically sound) reasons that they are no longer around.

A crush which leads to an actual relationship will almost always disappoint. Yet, when a crush doesn't go anywhere, for whatever reason, it always somehow seems like a bigger disappointment.

We can always look back and see where we went wrong, no matter how right it seemed at the time. However, for as right as something is at the time, and how easy it is to keep going, once derailed, it's almost impossible to recall how you got going in that direction in the first place.

Just about everyone has broken a heart, or had theirs broken... and yet somehow it's the times that the other person didn't even know they had the power to do so that seem to be the hardest to get over.

There aren't many more empty feelings than saying those three little words and hearing nothing in return.... yet the reward of hearing them said back always outweighs that risk. Always.

I believe that if you truly loved someone, there will always be a little place in your heart for them.... no matter how badly things ended. I think it's just too hard to totally turn your back on someone if you've truly let them into your heart.

I think I need to get some new CDs in my car before my next roadtrip. Badly.

Also, I swear I'm not high....

In the unlikely event...

...that Oktoberfest isn't quite enough for you.

Who's in? I want a beer bottle suit!

I can't believe it!

I'm not that hurt. And I don't know why. Well, maybe I do...

Normally after a rousing game of Thanksgiving Day Football, I wake up on Tuesday barely able to get out of bed, let alone make it to the bathroom for a hot shower in a vain attempt to alleviate the pain in every muscle I had, and some I didn't even know I could hurt.

The ultimate was a couple of years ago when I blew out (quite literally... I heard audible "pops") both hamstrings, making me a veritable invalid for months. The old fuckers at work got a real kick out of that one.

Since then, I have discovered the art of stretching.... good times! I get to writhe around on the grass before the game instead of during. A fair trade-off, I guess, but it causes much less long-term pain. And only a little of me dies on the inside with the reminder that I am not, in fact, young enough to just run at full speed and hit other equally old people also running at full speed and not pull anything without adequate preparation.

I remember sitting in lines with a number of these same people before playing *real* football, and making small talk instead of stretching when we were in high school, since, really.... who stretches anyway? Homos? And we weren't homos!

Maybe it's homos and old people.

And me......

I'm not sure anybody really cares, but here we go...

Turns out cats are far more perceptive than I had previously given them credit for. Or at least my parents' cat is.

He was quite literally watching me all weekend. But only when he thought I wasn't looking. It was odd. He seemed clearly threatened, having exactly no idea who I was.... but I did win him over by Sunday.

Also, it seems owning a cat has made my parents quite insane. They speak to him as if he understands... but at least my mum is aware that he doesn't understand the words, or even know his name. My dad tries to reason with him... getting the thing all riled up, and then saying, "Okay, Cam, it's time to calm down." It's a cat. It's insane. You have just created a pouncing, clawing machine for the next hour... you can't just tell him to stop.

Anyway, I guess it turns out I'm not all that allergic to my new "little brother"... which I can only assume is good news....

Other than that, nothing overly exciting happened at the cottage... apart from sleeping, my parents and I were mostly doing 2 (or even 3) or the following at all times: eating, drinking and/or talking. Not necessarily in that order.

And you wonder why I drink?

Okay, maybe you don't... but tonight, on my way home from spending a grand total of 2 hours visting with my grandparents, all I could think of was how much I wanted a beer.

Seriously.

Like, I love them and all... but wow. And this isn't the first time I've gotten this sensation.... nor am I the only one in my family that has this reaction to them. I guess old Scottish people tend to affect you in a very specific way. Ever seen "So I Married an Axe Murderer?"... Mike Myers' parents in that? My grandparents. I'm not even kidding. They even kinda look like them. Weird, huh?

Oh, and as an added bonus, I'm going to get to see them more often now, since I'm working a lot in Oakville and (as I found out tonight) only about 15 minutes from them almost every night....

Being the only grandchild carries a lot of weight.

Fortunately for me, that weight drowns nicely in a freshly poured pint! :)

Neutral Third Party's View

As a Habs fan, I couldn't care less about Leafs (sic) vs. Sens. I kinda cheer for injuries.

The only upside I can think of is that about half of my friends will be ripe for ribbing after the game... Otherwise, I'm just trying to get my digs in before they remember who I cheer for!

Hockey's back!

Nope, still annoyed that there was a rainout in Yanks-Tiggers.............

It's that time of year...

There's a crispness in the air... it's actually kinda cold in the morning... those people that care a leetle too much about Hallowe'en have gone insanely overboard on their houses....

It's also an incredible time of year for sports. And no, I don't mean that pathetic display where me and a bunch of the guys I went to high school with go out and feed a certain competitive urge while attempting to not pull any major muscle groups (we often only succeed at the former... although last year, we achieved the latter.... mainly by not running) on Thanksgiving Monday with a sorry display of bad football...

No, I mean that as of this week, three great things are going down...

1) The NFL is in full swing (oh Lordy how I missed thee....), complete with arguably the dumbest collection of announcers of any major pro sport. Where else can you regularly hear new and unusual bastardizations of the English language, such as: "that quarterback saw him coming in his perifrial vision", along with a bevvy of malapropisms.... and don't get me started on their actual analysis.... Oy vey. For the largest grossing league in the world, with the highest TV revenue (by far), don't you think they could find at least a few people that actually understand football, and can string a few words together above a borderline mentally handicapped level? Apparently not.

2) The NHL is starting! Oh, wait... sorry. I'm about the only Canadian that doesn't give a shit. Moving on...

3) Baseball playoffs! I like baseball, and couldn't care less about hockey? I'm a bad Canadian, I know. But whatever... Fall baseball is where legends are made, and every pitch matters. I love it. I'm basically not going to get much done over the next few weeks. Oh well. There is, however, one down side. Prison Break is pre-empted until October 23rd.

I really do like to have it both ways, huh?

Must be the only child thing. Maybe I'll go throw a tantrum in Rupert Murdoch's office and see what happens....

No, Rupert... I will NOT calm down!!

Today's Tasteless Funny...

Complaining in Real Time

Okay, so I'm at Amr's wathcing the beloved NFL Sunday Ticket, where we get to flip between every single game... alllllll afternoon!

But anyway, as I've stolen his laptop that we're using to keep tabs on the games we're not watching, I'll keep this brief....

There was just a play in Rams-Lions, where the Rams receiver got a pas, but lost control of it almost immediately as he crossed the goal line. the ruing on the field was a fumble, and the Rams "challenged" it (basically, they use instant replay to determine what actually happened). The announcers all agree that it's either a touchdown, or a fumble. After watching the play exactly once, Amr and I agreed that it was an incomplete pass... easy call.

Play was overturned. Incomplete.

The announcers were flabbergasted... they had never considered that option, and started arguing that the refs blew the cal, even while showing the replay where the receiver never had control of the ball again and again.

Now, why are two guys sitting on a couch in Toronto able to break down a play better than supposed "paid professionals"?!??

Makes me mad.........

Move Video!

Turns out I'm on YouTube a little more than I thought... thanks to Andrew for telling me about this... turns out I don't spend as much time as I thought on there!

Here's our MSR from Kincardine... you can't really tell, but it was raining really heavily on and off for about 20 minutes right before we went on..... I'm not sure that particularly helped the performance, but whatever...



Also, here's our MSR from the North American Championships at Maxville... arguably our best single performance of the summer. You can hear how much brighter the sound is on a nice clear day, as compared to a cool, damp day in Kincardine... or maybe it's just me.



Okay, I'm done boring you all to death with my pipe band nerdity....