And now I know how that's going to go...

As an astute reader may recall, the pipe band I'm in is going to Fredericton in July. There's kind of a big deal highland games down that way, and we're going to it. I fully expected that it would be good times....

Now? I know it's going to be an epic trainwreck.

And I can't wait!

How do I know this? Well, a drummer from the Fredericton Grade 1 band named Aaron was up this weekend, ostensibly to check out York, where he is intending to start his Master's this fall.

He was staying with a piper in our band who used to play with Fredericton, but being closer to my age, I was burdened with the job of "showing him a good time" in Toronto.

Fortunately, I also had a partner in crime, as one of the other pipers in the band, Erin, was going to go party downtown with one of her friends, but that fell through at the last minute, leaving us at the pub after practice with nothing but trouble on our minds.

I had a feeling we had a good night on our hands when we had this exchange:

Erin: Hey, uh... Aaron..
Aaron: Yeah?
Erin: I thought you were doing your Master's in Sociology...
Aaron: Yeah, that was the plan.
Erin: Really? Cuz it looks more like you're taking Nursing [points at his full beer]

Aaron proceeds to chug his pint to make a point, and starts ragging on me... "Dude, don't hassle the DD."

So then we pile into my car and get back to my place. We confirm that DC, Amr, et. al. are going to Devil's Martini, and while I confirm with Dave that jeans will be cool (they had better be... we were all in them), he's pretty unsure how sneakers will be taken... meaning, he thinks they'll be pissy, but doesn't want to discourage us from coming along.

I put on sneakers so that Aaron isn't going to be left high and dry, and we get a cab.

Or rather, we get a car that takes us in the general direction of downtown. I swear this was his first day... or at least it had better have been. Asshole gets exact change, and was rightfully thankful for it. Gawd I hate morons.

Anyway, we stroll up... no line! Dave was right! (about the before 10pm thing) And just as we're about to walk in, the bouncer stops me....

Meathead #1: No running shoes. And your buddy, too. Can't have that.
Me: Really? Oh, sorry man... is there anything we can do about it?
Meathead #1: Well, maybe... go see that guy over there [points in the direction of the guy heretofore known as Meathead #2]

Now? I'm getting excited... I know exactly what we're doing, but Aaron's getting pissed off, as I think he's getting the impression that this is some snooty place (it is) that he won't feel comfortable in (he probably won't), but I'm excited, and there's no stopping me now...

Me: Hey...
Meathead #2: Hey, uh... can't let you in with those sneakers.
Me: Yeah, that's what your buddy said, but he suggested there might be something we can do about it?
Meathead #2: There's always something we can do about it.
Me: Excellent.
Meathead #2: I guess we'd have to just look the other way...
Me: Okay, well... how far will you have to look?
Meathead #2: Well, there's two of you.
Me: Right...
Meathead #2: So $20 per shoe?
Me: Excuse me?
Meathead #2: $20 each?
Me: Done.
Meathead #2: Okay, now be discreet about it, and we're good.

So I go back to Aaron and Erin (needless to say I was calling them Boy and Girl at this point...) with a big grin on my face... get the cash outta my wallet and go back to shake Meathead #2's hand.

Meathead #2: Alright, have a good night.
Me: Thanks, we'll try to behave ourslves [a lie].
Meathead #1: No hats, either.
Aaron: Fuck this.....
Me: C'mon, man... dont' worry about it.

So he takes off his hat, and we go in.

Nobody I know is there yet (assholes!!) so we head to the bar...

Me: Shots?
Aaron: Jager!
Erin: Anything but Jager.....
Me: Okay, what, then?
Erin: ...
Me: So Jager.
Erin: {sigh}

Worth noting that she took her shot like a champ. The next round we did Polar Bears at her request... we're not total assholes.......

So we finally meet up with Amr, his gf and her friend. Woo?

Anyway, we're at a table, and Aaron spies an empty martini glass. He grabs it, and pretends to throw it behind him (there's some weird staff access passage, or something).

Me: I'll give you a dollar if you actually do it.
Aaron: Really?
Me: [shows him a loonie]
Aaron: [throws glass behind him, making a satisfying smash]
Me: Sweet! [gives him the loonie]

Then, just as Aaron comes back from the can one time, he tells me to keep my eye out for a guy in a big white and blue checked shirt. Apparently they had a disagreement in the john, and he's worried the guy'll be after him.

Remind me about this next time I try to take a Coaster somewhere nice. Seriously.

It's around this point that Amr and DC have been texting, and Dave's in line, not able to get in. He's late because he spilled a bottle of red wine at his gf Marisa's place. We decide to go meet them and hit up a pub around the corner....

A few pitchers and a mound of wings later (we realised that none of us had dinner), it's coming up on last call... Marisa is nice enough to order two fresh pitchers.

Excellent.

We manage to force it all down, but not without consequence..... by the time we get back to my place, I'm the only one still awake enough to pay the cabbie, but I'm not certain who's money I used. I think it was Erin's, but I'm not certain.

***

Sunday morning, I wake up feeling surprisingly good... but knowing that won't last, I gobble down a mitful of Advil. As does Aaron. Then we heat up the cinnimon buns Erin brought, and I decide to wake her up by taking them to her.

For whatever reason, she declines the Advil, and we make for Timmy's on our way to practice... did I mention we had a two-dayer this weekend? Yeah. Well, about an hour in, our valiant non-Advil taking friend bolts from the circle.

Needless to say, we all hit up the pub, and after a coupla caesars, Erin's feeling right as rain again. After the first pint ("Ugh, tastes like yesterday") I'm alright, and Aaron (who didn't technically participate in practice) is right back in with both feet.

Also, there's this:

Erin [yelling down the bar]: Hey, Aaron... did you hit that guy in the bathroom at Devil's Martini?
Aaron: Oh, him? Yeah. Why?
Me: We honestly thought you were kidding about that.
Aaron: Naw, he made some comment about being from the East Coast, so I dropped him.
Erin/Me: [speechless]

Yup, and two short months from now, we get to visit him! Yay!!