What the fuck is wrong with people?!?

Okay, so I found myself watching the unmitigated trainwreck that is the American Idol Open Auditions last night. This is my one yearly concession to Reality TV. Otherwise, I refuse to watch it... but this? I got hooked on it a bit while at school, as I tended to do my assingments lying on my living room floor while watching TV, and knowing what kind of ratings American Idol gets, not many other networks bother to put anything of remote value up against it.... anyway, enough rationalization, point is: I'm hooked.

But I'm okay with that... Why? I have no idea, but it's just fun.

Before I go any farther into this, I just want to point out something: I can't sing. I don't pretend I can. And I think that's why I feel qualified to make fun. If I think I'm better than someone, and I wouldn't get within two time zones of a vocal audition unless it involved moving, then what the fuck is wrong with you where you think you should be?!? Also, I'm not pretending I'm gifted with perfect pitch or anything, either, but I do have a decent enough ear to know when some douchbag can't carry a tune in a wheel barrow.

Anyway, with the surprisingly cold Jewel (I was honestly expecting her to coddle the contestants... and she didn't. She was honest and frank when people sucked. I liked that. Oh, and in other news.... she's still hot!) as a guest judge, and Randy Jackson's newly found mean streak (like, seriously... who pissed in his Cheerios?) the masses came in.

And on balance, they stunk the joint out. And argued with the judges..... like, seriously. What do you think you're gaining? You're just making them dig in more, and in the case of the clearly annoyed Randy Jackson, making them get personal and explain just how much you sucked.

Now, unless I'm mistaken, Randy has gained a bunch of weight back... maybe that's why he's pissed? And what's up with that, anyway? I thought fat people were supposed to be jolly?!?