Whoring myself out... and loving it!

So as is the tradition with Robbie Burns Day, I went piping yesterday, and was paid in whiskey and haggis. Oh, money, too, but I could have gotten that by staying at work all afternoon!

Anyway, I show up at the old folks place, and get introduced to the dude giving the Address to the Haggis. He's got a tartan bow tie with a little RFC crest on it, signifying he's a Glasgow Rangers supporter. I decide we are going to get along swimmingly.

I get taken downstairs for a place to tune up, and the nurse taking me down says something cryptic, along the lines of, "You're probably not even old enough to drink whiskey!" Not knowing what on earth she's talking about, I just sorta smile and ignore the remark.

So I pipe in the haggis, and as it is set down, I of course notice the two glasses and a bottle. The guy addressing the haggis is a resident, and he has poured himself a generous glass, and another one for, I can only assume having been to these things before, me. Just as I finish, the nurse that is kind of running the thing leaps out, and grabs the glass I thought was intended for me. The old Scottish dude just about flips on her, saying that I'm supposed to get it. She whispers to him (but loudly enough I can hear, cuz... well, he's old) that she doesn't think I'm old enough. He gives her a look, and asks me how old I am...

"Uh.. 26?"
"Oh my GOD! I thought you were only 18!! I'm so sorry!"

I was a little dumbfounded at that... hell, I think I was even a little tickled. But I can assure you, she has been dealing with old people too much if she thinks I look anywhere close to 18. I didn't look 18 when I WAS 18.... hell, I was getting into bars without getting carded at 16... but whatever. The point is, I got my whiskey. And you know what? Maybe I was just assuming that it was going to be vile, but it wasn't half bad. Single Malt, even. Only a 10-year, but what do you want for free?

So I retire to the next room, trying not to make a spectacle of myself while the old people eat their haggis. In the next room I find the old dude who did the address in there, eating his helping of haggis, with the bottle of whiskey. He's almost done his second glass, and insists I have another with him. He manages to gulp down two more while I finish mine (I am driving home in rush hour, after all....), and as I'm leaving, he's back in the main room, singing. Clearly drunk.

That's what I love about old Scottish people. Booze + Room full of people = Singing. Always.

I also got to take the leftover haggis (they got a pretty big one) home. Good times. :)

PS: Anyone catch the Get Smart reference in the title? Nope? Nobody? I hate you all....