Celebrate the day of your country's birth by blowing up a small piece of it!

In a few scant moments, I'm off to Englehart for the weekend. For those unaware this is the home of my buddy Jon, and also about where Mike who joined me, Jon and Greg in Mexico last spring is from, too.

In short, this could significantly shorten my life, assuming I make it past the native blockade(s) and moose gauntlet, that is....

Wish me luck!

Another installment of "This is only funny if you don't have kids"

http://view.break.com/320707 - Watch more free videos

Thanks to Resh! (via Gorilla Mask)

Life Update

In an update that nobody would find funny unless they were aware of how long it took me to get around to putting in my A/C units last year, I was forced into putting them in last night (yes, a full TWO MONTHS earlier than last year) when I got home from Ocean's 13 near midnight and found my apartment entirely uninhabitable.

So yeah. It just took a 40-humidex day in June to get me off my ass.

I'm special.

From the "No, that didn't actually happen, did it?" file:

Okay, so today I (finally) got the Exemption Certificate from the Government of Canada so that I can legally have my pipes. Yes, the ones that I bought 4-5 months ago. Those ones.

Basic sequence of events:

Forms filled out and submitted.
Nothing.
Call to see if they sent the Certificate.
They say they have. Registered mail, no less.
I still receive nothing.
It is politely suggested that perhaps I haven't received it as it was not sent.
They decide that perhaps I'm not getting my registered mail, and so say they will send it again via "regular" mail.
Today, I get a registered mail pickup card in the mail.
Checking the envelope, it was sent June 22nd.

I guess I can't complain, as I did end up getting the thing.... but sweet fucking Christ... I can't believe these are the bafoons running our Goddamned counrty....

"Thanks, but no thanks"

This was unfortunately the response given when MLSE finally showed that when it comes to hockey, they have something vaguely resembling a brain in that region above their figurative shoulders.

In a vague attempt to bring in someone for the Leafs who would be equivalent to Bryan Colangelo of the Raptors, they went after the veritable Czar of Hockey, Scotty Bowman.

However, Mr. Bowman is not, in fact, coming to town at all. Turns out the place may be too fucked up for his liking... which should speak volumes to any Leaf fan about the state of their favourite franchise.

And don't even get me started on trading away all their draft picks for Vesa Toskala... yes, an upgrade on Raycroft, but seriously... WTF?!? Isnt' building for the future when you can have Pogge in net a little more important than making another half-hearted run at the 8th seed in the Eastern Conference?

Okay, I guess you got me started, but I'm going to end it.

Times like this, I've never been happier to be a Hab fan. :)

Monday Night Dick Jokes

No, seriously.

Go here, and make sure you read the comments.

Monday Morning Dick Joke

A Scottish Jew who had worked hard all his life in Scotland, decided that he would like to enjoy life a little, so he went to the exclusive St.Andrews Club. He was told on applying that his application would have to be approved by the Membership Board and that he would have their decision in a couple of days. Two days later he was told that his application was refused.

He went there to find out why.

He was asked, 'You're Jewish, aren't you?'

'Aye' he answered, 'but I'm as Scottish as you are Jock.'

'Well, you understand that we wear nothing under our kilts.'

'Aye, I know that.'

'And being Jewish, you must be circumcised.'

'Aye, I am that.'

'Well, the board decided that they could not stand a circumcised man parading around with us.'

'Och, away with ye man,' he cried. 'I know I must be a Protestant to march In the Orangeman's parade, and a Catholic to belong to the Knights of Columbus, but this is the first time I've heard that a man had to be a complete prick to be a Scotsman!'

Just to get that weird fucking video off the top post

And also as a peace offering to those perhaps partaking in the sticky icky this weekend....



With all due respect to Mark Messier and his Lay's, I dare you not to watch it 40 times in a row.

In the immortal words of Arcot Ramathorn:

Mother of God...



A shuddering tip o' the hat to KSK.. who else?? And check that link... BDD titled that post "Sushi for Badasses"

A-Freakin'-Dorable!!

Thanks to Tyler Durden for this one...

Effing Weird

Regardless of where you stand on the issue of the U.S. involvement in Iraq, here is a sobering statistic:

There has been a monthly average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theatre of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2,867 deaths. That gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers.

The firearm death rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per 100,000 persons for the same period. That means that you are about 25% more likely to be shot and killed in the U.S. Capital than you are in Iraq.

Conclusion: The U.S. should pull out of Washington.

If you have a weak stomach...

....you might not want to read the following link.

If you don't, two things: Mary Beth is Peter King's daughter, and yes that's a picture of Peter King.

Now go here, but don't say I didn't warn you!

I'm quite sure most of you don't care...

...but this is my blog, and I do, so eat me.

Big news last night, as we managed to pick up two drummers from Toronto Police. We had heard that they were interested in coming out last week, but knowing them (one actually played with the band last year and is about as unreliable as you can get, while the other is a certifiable flake.. and that's coming from *me*) I didn't really believe it until they showed up.

But they did. And now our drum corps is ready to rock!

Unfortunately, they won't be ready for Sarnia this weekend... but Kincardine in July? You betcha!

Another entry in the "Only Funny If You Don't Have Kids" File:

Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

Seriously... With Leather is great!

Random Thoughts

So I managed to turn someone to the dark side last week.

That is, running at night.

I had thought for a while that I was just a nutjob (okay, this still stands, but for different reasons now) from the looks I'd get from Greg, and even my parents back in the day, for going running at odd hours... specifically late at night.

Well, I made a passing comment to a friend of mine last week, and it came back to bite me in the ass tonight when I got in from piping and was about to decide not to run. I basically got shamed into it, and you know what? Worked out well.

I had almost forgotten how great it is. Cooler than during the day. No traffic. No other assholes blocking the sidewalk.

And there's no price you can put on being alone with your thoughts.

Good, good times.

I suggest you all try it at least once.

Newsflash: Not Dead

Contrary to any reports you may have heard, I'm still around. I've just been busy this week.

The first contest of the season is tomorrow in Georgetown, so we've had band practice Tuesday and Thursday this week... plus one of my co-workers was away this week, leaving me to cover his projects while he was gone, as well as my shit... and to top it off, my parents are going to be around this weekend, and so the veritable shithole I call an apartment needed a slight tidying up.

In short, I haven't had any time to post here.

I still owe a LONG overdue recounting of how I honoured Queen Victoria, as well as a little something about how I'm far more excited for this competition season than last year, not to mention an explanation to those on MSN and Facebook about what the hell BFS stands for, and why it's cool.

Ideally, while I fight through my hangover and sunstroke on Sunday, I'll get to some of this... but I'm not making any promises. I might just go and sit on the patio at the Galway instead.

Check that.... I will almost assuredly be on the patio.

You know, unless I'm a fucking lobster... which is always the wild card the day after the games....

Pilot Program for Queen's Homecoming:

Why I'm Probably Not Watching Tonight

Weensie: Listen, this is a serious situation. I mean, I'm kicked out of school. I don't know what I'm gonna do, man. My mom's gonna kill me.

Mitch: C'mon, she's not gonna kill you.

Weensie: Yes she is. See, I'm the first one to go to college in my family and when I left she said, "Weensie, if you screw this up, I'll kill you." She showed me the knife.

Now, replace "kicked outta school" and "screw this up" with "watch Sens-Ducks", and replace Weensie's mom with a fellow blogger.

No, really.... she showed me the knife..

I have no idea why this amuses me so much....

...but it's completely and totally mesmerizing.....

One of life's true mysteries, solved!

I'm not sure I've ever really known the lyrics to Pearl Jam's Yellow Ledbetter, and perhaps no one has... until now:

I'll take Pairings for $400, Alex...

Alex Trebeck: Okay, in Pairings.... 5:30am alarm clock settings and Monday mornings.
Me: [B'beep]
AT: Iain?
Me: What are: Things that should never go together?
AT: Correct!

It doesn't take much to amuse oneself when you buy your second XL coffee before 9am. And you're still yawning. :)

Signs that perhaps you spend too much time together....

So I'm talking with Andrew on Wednesday night, after changing movie plans on Tuesday b/c one of the girls from work was sick, and we didn't want to see Pirates 3 without her, but still wanted to watch a movie....

Andrew: So, how was Pirates?
Me: Oh, we actually ended up seeing 28 Weeks Later.
Andrew: Any good?
Me: Not bad. But I heard Pirates was crappy, anyway.
Andrew: Well, I thought the second one was crap after the first one.. the just recycled the same jokes.
Me: Huh.. I actually liked the second one, but thought the first was iffy... of course, I also saw the second one first.
Andrew: Well, you see how you have to just switch your opinion now, right?
Me: Yes, I see how I'm wrong.
Andrew: You see how you scum.
Me: Wow, I can't believe you caught that..... that was a pretty subtle reference.
Andrew [in a bad Italian accent]: I only consider you a'scum a'compared a'to Krusty!
Me [in an equally bad Italian accent]: You see how you scum.