And we're back in the game!!!

Okay, so I've put out the fire at work, and I'm just printing a document for my boss... once that's bound, I'm heading back downtown to Fionn McCool's where, I have confirmed with my bandmates, they are still very much drinking on the house......

I'm stoked.

A little exhausted from all the anger, but stoked none the less. :)

I can't even discuss this rationally yet

I have never had my mood take a more extreme turn while makeing $250.

In very much NOT unrelated news, I am now at work.

Considering I just heard about it on the radio....

I guess it's safe to say that I'm going down to Queen's Quay, then Fionn McCool's on the Esplanade this morning for the Ontario Launch of Alexander Keith's Red Amber Ale.

I just heard Gary and Doug playing on The Edge, so I guess the word's out...

COME JOIN US!!!

(no, seriously.... any time after noon, come to Fionn McCool's... if you have trouble getting in, call me!)

This is not the off-colour joke you're going to think I'm going for....

I have to say that I might have issues with Step 12.

Tomorrow is going to fucking rock!

I can't tell you why, yet... or perhaps not for a while (there's a small chance of a confidentiality agreement I'll need to sign), but tomorrow, as noted above, is going to fucking rock.

As much as I can say right this minute: I get to pipe at a product release near Harbourfront tomorrow morning with several of my bandmates. I don't really know when I'll be finished (hopefully sometime around noon), but I know that I will be duly compensated both monetarily and with product.

The only catch? I might have to be back at my office by 4pm for a late meeting with Shell, which might prove annoying on a variety of levels.... not the least of which being the fact that 4pm meetings on Fridays are fucking stupid.

It might not be "Football in the groin"... but it's close!

I haven't been this disappointed since earlier this morning...

...when I re-started my loss streak on Rrrol up the rrrim to win.

Just check out WWTDD and see why... I can't even be bothered to make up a joke.

Take a load off Annie...

As the spring and summer months approach, and as it gets warmer outside, I find it harder and harder not to think about what I'm going to do this summer.

In particular, I start to think about cottage parties, sitting on the dock listening to CCR, The Doors, or maybe even a little Beach Boys, with a beer, or whatever your little heart desires... my cottage buddy Billy and I used to say that it just wasn't summer until we heard the Beach Boys while out on the water. Around this time of year, that always comes to mind.

No real point to this post. I just wanted to share that one little fleeting moment in time.

PS: Yes, I am aware that the title is actually the hook from a song by The Band, and they were never mentioned here, but it just seemed more appropriate than anything else I could come up with. Translation: Bite me.

Sometimes I just don't know how people put up with me

On my way home form work today, it lifted, and I noticed that all day today I had been a cranky, surly asshole. And I have no idea why.

Looking back, it hardly feels like I was even myself today. I only vaguely remember this morning, and bits and pieces of this afternoon. All I know is that I felt like one of those old timey cartoon characters with a black cloud over their head....

At least when girls get bitchy like that they can explain it away. Me? I'm just a jerk.

Just for the record...

If you were checking in here to catch my thoughts on American Idol (which have become, depressingly, a staple here over the last month), I might as well be honest: I didn't watch it.

And I don't expect to anytime soon, as I have decided that I'm boycotting the show until that talentless hack Sanjaya is off the fucking show. I can't stand the idea that he's not even close to being sent home... and I blame sites like VoteForTheWorst.com, which seems to have been taken down, but the word has gotten out already.

I heard about this chick going on a hunger strike, and I think I'm going to go the easier, yet likely more effective in the long run, way and just not watch.

Like, seriously... you know things have gotten bad when some douchbag thinks he's being "edgy" by taking a pro-Sanjaya postion. Really, the dude's not William Hung, but he's not good enough to win, either.

I just fucking hope he doesn't.

On the bright side, that could possibly put an end to this stupid franchise....

Just in case you didn't click on the link to Simmons' blog, I'll be nice and post it here so you won't miss it:

Nice to see someone standing up for themselves for a change instead of cowtowing to the PC a-holes...

From Bill Simmons' blog today:

Yesterday's blog elicited a few emails along the lines of this one from Mark Jacobs in New York: "I was very offended by your comments about last year's season being such a disaster that 'two white guys' were undisputably the best players in college basketball. Basketball doesn't require a non-white gene to be played well. You ought to look up Larry Bird or Pete Maravich. Did you write that the last football season was a disaster because two African-American coaches were in the Super Bowl? Didn't think so. Keep your comments to sports and athletics and stay out of the social arena."

Um, I was trying to be funny ... I just forgot that we live in a world where you can't joke about anything. This nation is tighter than Meg Ryan's face right now. Loosen up. It's not a crime to joke about the fact that last year's college hoops season sucked so much that the best two players were white. See, basketball has been a predominantly black sport for about 40 years now, a blessing because the game evolved into a vertical direction and became infinitely more entertaining than the product from the late-'50s. If you wrote down the best NBA players from the last three decades, you'd probably notice that all of them were black except for Larry Bird, Kevin McHale, Steve Nash, Chris Mullin, Dirk Nowitzki and John Stockton.

Now, if last year's best college players were on the level of Bird, Nash and Stockton, it would be one thing. But J.J. Redick and Adam Morrison both flamed out in the tournament and look like potential busts as pros. Hence, my joke in yesterday's blog. For anyone who was offended, I'm sorry ... not for the joke, but for the bug up your ass.

Here here....

It's 3am... do you know where your DVDs are?

Last week I got the idea of ripping off KSK's mock drafts (samples include black people to be friends with, cities to eliminate, TV characters you'd like to kill, action movie scenes to star in, personal non-gun weapons and countries - Round 1, Round 2 & Round 3) by having a draft of After-Bar Movies. The premise being that these are the only movies you can watch from last call until sunrise, basically removing the idea that you have to draft "good" movies. For example, I will always, without fail, stop to watch A Few Good Men right until the end when I find it on TV (how can you not love pre-insanity Tom Cruise sparring with Jack Nicholson... and Demi Moore to boot!), but I'd never consider watching it when I got home from the bar. It's just not on my radar....

Anyway, I got a few takers to join me, all of whom are Queen's alumni (to varrying degrees, as one still attends the school despite having already gotten her "get out of jail free card".. er... I mean degree), which might strike you that this post-bar movie thing is a Queen's phenomenon. I didn't think it was, but you can't argue with who replies to a random email, can you? Oh, you can? I don't care.... on to the draft!

I forced a co-worker to pick names out of a hat (read: my cupped hands), which elicited a lot of "What is this? Why are you making me do this?"-type comments, but since she will mostly do what she's told, we ended up with a draft order of:

1. Me
2. Dave a.k.a. DC
3. Andrew a.k.a. AC
4. Greg
5. Gab

(Note: in italics is what was actually sent in the email thread, with my witty remarks in between)

ROUND 1:

1. Me: Super Troopers.

Classic. Basically my default after-bar movie.

2. DC: Out of the Genre of "Saturday Night Live Character Spin Offs", I choose Wayne's World.

I'm pretty glad Pat wasn't involved with this, cuz if he didn't get to take Wayne's World, he may have jumped out the nearest window, and that would have put a bit of a black cloud over the rest of the draft. Why would we continue, you ask? Cuz Pat would have wanted it that way... just like we know he always wants us to keep watching the movie long after he has passed out.

3. AC: When I get back from the bar I want action and I want comedy

I want Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

- interconnecting plots, awesome accents, camera work that's on speed, Vinne Jones as a hitman with a son who tags along all the time, a man who beats people to death with dildos, and a girl who uses a very heavy machine gun

Also its got dialogue like:

Willie: That's Gloria.

Winston: Yes I know that's Gloria, what's that?

Willie: Fertilizer.

Winston: You went out six hours to buy a money counter and you come back with a semi-conscious Gloria and a back of fertilizer. Alarm bells are ringing Willie.

Willie: We need fertilizer Winston.

Winston: Mmmhmm. We also need a money counter. This money's got to be out by Thursday, I'm buggered if I'm gonna count it. Just make sure if you do need to buy sodding fertilizer could be a bit more subtle.

Willie: What do you mean?

Winston: We grow copious amounts of ganja, yah. And you're carrying a wasted girl and a bag of fertilizer. You don't look like your average horti-fucking- culturalist! That's what I mean Willie.

4. Greg: i guess i'll take 40-year old virgin, if i'm still in turn

...and that was the last time we heard from Greg directly on the email thread.

5. Gab: South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut.
Blame Canada is probably one of my favourite South Park songs ever... Also, Kyle's mom is a bitch gets altered every week to "Our t.a. is a big fat bitch" by my lab partner, so I have an emotional attachment to this movie.

ROUND 2:

1. Gab: Cannibal the Musical
I know, I know, another movie by the same guys... But I couldn't let this one get away. I can deal with losing out on an action movie or two... God knows there are enough of those out there that I love... This one is unique and can be summed up with one word... AWESOME. Well, probably more accurately with a few words... Hilarious cannibalism in Colorado while searching for gold... A movie after my own heart. Maybe literally.

AC: Cannibal was to be my third round sleeper

. . . . . curses

2. Me: Greg takes Badder Santa. [he conveyed this to me via MSN, apparently his email is fuct]

I had that in the back of my mind... :(

I have no idea what "Cannibal the Musical" is....???

Seconds later, on MSN:

Gabriela says: You don't know Cannibal the musical? Its the movie that mattparker and trey stone did as either their final project at film school or shortly thereafter... Its about people who go to Colorado for the gold rush, get lost, and have to eat each other.
Iain says: never even heard of it
Gabriela says: its better than supertroopers
Gabriela says: you know the plane at the end of every southpark episode? The music playing is the cannibal theme
Iain says: huh
Iain says: and I resent your "it's better than ST" implication...

3. AC: I'm going with Rocky 4

you're drunk . . . it's late . . . and then you get to see Apollo Creed die, a hugely over-the-top Dolph Lundgren, an amazing Russian montage training scene, and then Rocky wins the Cold War.

I must break you

Gab: Is it wrong that I've never seen a rocky movie? I've also never seen the godfather movies. I think perhaps this situation needs to be rectified.

Me: I own all four Rocky movies.... 5 and Rocky Balboa never happened. [I actually own 1-5, but I refuse to admit that I own it]

I haven't see the Godfather either, actually........... and apparently neither has Dave.

Shortly thereafter, again on MSN:

Gabriela says: Balboa happened... Jess is in it. Therefore it not only happened, its also the one I'm most likely to see.
Iain says: Jess?
Iain says: 5 was awful, tho...
Gabriela says: Never seen it, don't know. The guy who plays Rocky's son is the same guy who plays Jess on Gilmore Girls
Iain says: I see.... that's the worst reason ever..
Gabriela says: Hey, if guys are allowed to watch the gift for Katie...Cruise's tits, I'm allowed to watch that movie for a really hot guy
Iain says: I'm going to say "that's what the internet's for"... I didn't even know the name of that movie....
Gabriela says: Its mentioned in some other movies. I don't actually remember that scene myself. I have to admit, I did see that movie.
Iain says: I wouldn't openly admit that if I were you.....
Gabriela says: It was on tmn on a sunday afternoon... There's really not much else to do on Sundays besides watch movies
Iain says: I go to band practice....
Iain says: I've heard something about "church"...?
Gabriela says: Church? Isn't that the name of some opera singer? That's the only church I know of.
Gabriela says: My band practices are on Wednesdays
Iain says: boo

4. DC: For my second round pick I choose

From the Action Genre "Top Gun" minus the naked volleyball scene.

Especially in the eighties what was Tony Scott thinking putting a scene full of sweaty naked guys playing beach volleyball in an action movie.

On second thought when that scene comes on its a perfect time to get up and take a post bar sh$t. Whitout pausing the video and pissing off everyone else watching the film.

5. Me: to end the Second Round: Old School

"Be honest.. tell me this is the first time you've ever done this kinda thing"
"well, do you want me to be honest, or tell you this is the first time?"

.. and of course, Ear Muffs!

Round 3:

1. Me: To open the Third Round: Swingers

Vegas, baby. Vegas.

...and the most awkward scene in cinematic history, just to make sure you don't do anything stupid that night.

"Hey, this is Nicky.. leave a message!"

(in other news, DC totally ruined my sleeper pick of Top Gun.........)

AC: Iain, I think your ego is writing checks your body can't cash. You didn't own that pick, the taxpayers do . . .

Me: Hey Goose.... she's lost that lovin' feeling....
What? No...
No, she has...
I hate it when she does that!

2. DC: sorry for ruining your third pick, I thought I could actually get away with Top Gun in either the third or fourth round but then I turned all Rob Babcok and picked now just like how the Raptors could have traded down and still pick up Rafael Araujo. But to make you feel better Iain I was going to choose Old School at this pick

So I'm going to go Old School and pick my favourite Adam Sandler Movie "Billy Madison"

"Shampoo is Better I make the hair all clean"

"No"

"Conditioner is better I make the hair all smooth and shiny"

"No...No..."

(Drops both in the bath, and turns to the faucet)

"What are you looking at Swan"

P.S. O'Doyle rules!

[after a pause in the action of really only a few minutes]

DC: Hey Andrew

tt..tt..tt.tt.today junior

3. AC: Hey, in Brockville, the news waits for NO ONE - plus my weather has to be done live

my third round pick is The Rock . . . for I am a winner, and as a winner I will go home and fuck the prom queen

[At this point, after a lenghty delay where I both MSN'd and txt'd Greg, Gab clearly gets frustrated, and jumps the queue...]

Gab: So I'm pretty damn sure greg won't pick these and I have to go out for a bit, so here goes...

5. Help by the Beatles
No explanation needed... its hilarious

ROUND 4:

1. Gab: Aliens

Look! Its Michael Biehn! The eternal marine!
This movie never gets old for me, even though its almost as old as I am. Aliens, space marines, shooting, dirt, cool future technology...

Did I mention I'm an eng chick? Do I make more sense to you now?

2. Me: Greg's picks are Grandma's Boy (R3) and Anchorman (R4).

3. AC: Kung Fu Hustle . . . . . I want to go with an earlier Stephen Chow called The God of Cookery, but it's even more obscure than Cannibal

4. DC: For my fourth round pick I choose Space Jam.

It is the perfect movie when you get home so bombed that you only have a couple minutes before you pass out. The best part of the whole movie is the Micheal Jordan highlight package that they show during the opening credits.

5. Me: I'm going to take advantage of the "sandwich" picks and take Kill Bill I and....

ROUND 5:

1. Me: Kill Bill II.

There's just something way too hot about a chick in full body yellow leather killing 100s of guys with a fucking samurai sword....

Maybe I need therapy.

ps: Nice pick w KFH, AC....

2. DC: I'm going to embrace my inner Geek and choose "Return of the Jedi"

3. AC: Clerks . . . great dialogue and because you're not Dante, you can feel better about yourself

Dante Hicks: You hate people!

Randal Graves : I know. I hate people, but I love gatherings. Isn't that ironic.

Me: I have always been for a ruling class... mostly because I rule

AC: Bunch of savages in this town

4. Me: And G-Higgy is down for Die Hard.

At this point I actually ask Greg if he's anywhere near his computer, or if it's actually the txt's that are getting him to get his ass off the couch. It's most assuredly the latter....

5. Gab: And on that note, I pick Die Hard 3! As I said earlier, the Samuel L. Jackson factor is key... And personally, I think Jeremy Irons is a way better British guy playing evil German guy than Alan Rickman. Plus its not contained to one building and there are puzzles :)

Round 6:

1. Gab: And what do you know... I have another pick... This is starting to get tough...

Star Trek: First Contact

I'm showing my scifi geek side again... Borg are awesome. Is it wrong that I have a crush on Patrick Stewart?

Definitely not Swedish,
Gab

2. Me: continuing from home.... Greg has advised me that he is taking..........

Raiders of the Lost Ark

3. AC: Ferris Bueller's Day Off

. . . . and Abe Froman smiles

Me: DC's gonna be pissed..........

AC: it's my late round sleeper

4. DC: Well, since Andrew took my sleeper pick, I'll have to go with my favourite Bill Murray flick.

"Ghostbusters"

5. Me: Wedding Crashers.... I clearly have a thing for Vince Vaughn, but that's okay...

It's like a bullseye!

Round 7:

1. Fight Club

Sticking feathers in your ass does not make you a chicken! (it's probably wrong that somehow that sounded sexual in my world)

Now... a question of etiquette. Do I give you the crotch or the ass?

And, well... I'd have wanted to fuck the living shit outta Helena Bonham Carter, too....

With that, I'm gone for a few hours for dinner and piping.... do continue without me, but I doubt Greg will pay much attention as I was having to txt his lazy ass to get him off the couch long enough to even MSN me his picks...

That said, carry on......

2. DC: Got to go back to Mike Myers and pick Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery.

"You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! "

I'll be gone for a few hours as well, I'll be back [later]

With that, things pretty much deteriorated and stopped....

There are a dozen movies, like Team America: World Police, that should have made the cut, but time didn't allow.... please feel free to chastise us in the comments section for any glaring omissions, but I'm pretty sure you're wrong. :)

Today's Reason I'm Incredibly Happy I Finished University When I Did:

Facebook.

But not as the überprocrastination tool that it is.... that? I was still able to do plenty of, thank you. More tools couldn't have possibly made me procrastinate more. Then why, you ask?

Pictures.

Hundreds of pictures of everyone doing everything being uploaded almost instantaneously.

I've never pretended that I was a saint, or anything, while I was at school, but fuck me... I do NOT need to have every douchebag with a camera posting proof on the internet of what a fuck up I am/was, or how fucked up I got. Just don't. Maybe I prefer to be the purveyor of my own dirt, and maybe I'm just a weirdo, but I think I might have been a little more careful of my public behaviour had the possibility of me being splattered all over the interwebs, even if it's a quasi-private site like Facebook, been the way it is now.

And that, dear friends, would have made Iain a dull boy. :)

Another High School Weekend.... well, with a couple of major exceptions.....

I can hardly explain just how high school my social life was this weekend.

Yet, in some respects, it was very mature. In typical me fashion, I got to have to both ways.

Get your mind out of the fucking gutter, it's Sunday for crying out loud!!

On Friday night, I went over to DC's with Kyle and we watched the NCAA tournament in his basement. I even went so far as to decline an invite out around 10, as I was too comfy, and I had no desire to drive downtown at that point.

Saturday night, I went over to my friends Sonya's place to play Wii. Okay, so this isn't overly "high school", but the fact that her invitation had the pretense that her mum was out of the country, and her sister was sleeping over somehwere else, so we had the house to ourselves kind of gave me a flashback. That and when Dave and I hit up Apache Burger at 1:30am just to complete the high school effect.

Sunday wasn't without its charm, with some good old fashioned soap opera-quality stuff that I don't want to get into here (doesn't directly involve me, but turns out our pipe band's members are leading exciting, if not necessarily heartache-free lives), but what's the etiquette for people you have on Facebook only because they were dating people you know? Are you allowed to delete them, or something? Are the circumstances surrounding the break-up the determining factor? Cuz if they are, she's out like a boner in sweatpants.... if not, I guess she's just on notice.

On the adult side of things, I had a very civilized home cooked dinner with some friends on Friday, and on Saturday, I bought a new car.

EDIT: In the likely event that Peyton Manning on SNL wasn't exactly "Must See TV" for you either, here's likely the highlight, as brought to you by KSK. It's actually hilarious, I promise... especially if you have a slightly twisted sense of humour. ;)

Sometimes I just shake my head

I just had the pleasure of watching Coach's Corner with Don Cherry for the first time in a long time.

Don's ranting tonight could really only be described as homophobic.

Glad to see this archaic dope is a fucking Canadian Icon. I'm almost embarassed by how cannonized he is in almost all circles.

Get him off the air before he drops an n-bomb, for fuck's sake.

Who I'm cheering for

While this evening we saw the Sweet Sixteen shrink to a mere twelve, I manged to discover who I'm going to be cheering for the rest of the way: OSU.

Now, while Ohio hasn't always been my favourite state, much less state university, much like Kylie Minogue, I couldn't get this outta my head (HA! now it's stuck in your head, too!), and that is that I believe we have found the long lost third Terwilliger brother! Lacking the prodigious hair of his brothers, Bob and Cecil....



















May I present back up centre Matt Terwilliger....



I clearly need some sleep.

This might be weird

So as I've managed to hide from many of you, or gush endlessly to others, I really enjoy What If Sports. This is a crazy simulated quasi-fantasy sports website. It has hockey, basketball, football and baseball SimLeagues where you can choose from just about any player who has ever lived and put them on your team, with one catch.... you have a salary cap, and they've all been given salaries based on their abilities, and you compete against an entire league of similar teams built by other players. Want beer-swilling and hot dog eating Babe Ruth on your team? He'll cost as much as a 'roided-up Barry Bonds.

I got hooked on the baseball sim a couple of years back, as baseball is one of the more passive, stats-driven sports, so it made sense. And when I say hooked, I mean hooked. Badly. I don't like to think about how much money I blew (oh, yeah... it's not free), but after I started making the playoffs with regularity and won a World Series, it started to get old.

Then came Hardball Dynasty. The site had other dynasty sports (college basketball, college foot ball, even a NASCAR-type one) where you have a "Career" and they keep track, comparing you to other players. And while I tried some of them, the baseball one really hooked me. You get a major league team and 5 minor leage teams, all populated with players you have to play and evaluate (they have ratings for every skill imaginable, but also play a full schedule for you to see how those ratings translate to performance). You can trade, draft, release, promote, waive, everything. You hire coaches and control the style of play of your team, as well as the ballpark they play in. It's almost too much. Almost.

Now, the real reason I brought all this up. It was mostly as background to explain why this shit might be on my mind, and why I might be on the site a little too much... Anyway, with my first team (yes, first.. I'm getting to that), I got saddled with a woofer. My team finished last in the division. Shitty deal, but I got to deal what little I had in the way of decent vets for prospects. In the second season, I brought some of the young guys up, hoping to get better, and I end up sneaking into the playoffs as a Wild Card, and knocked off the top team in our league on the way to losing in the World Series to the defending champs.

After the series, I get chatting (there's a feature called Trade Chat) with the owner of the team I knocked out on my way to the WS, and we end up making a huge blockbuster trade that basically give us two of the top three teams in the league.

Anyway, without boring you with the details (why do I hear someone yelling, "I thought you were already?"), I've been keeping in touch with this guy over the season, bitching about our teams, other owners, comparing ideas for trades in other leagues (we both joined other leagues in the meantime), and just generally have been in touch several times per week for the last several months. Recently, he put my name up for an invitation-only league for "good" owners (a certain amount of playoff success is mandatory) that he was already in. And since then, we have been talking even more. Even to the point that we know what city the other lives in, basically what they do for a living, our "real" first names, and that we both seem to invest waaaaaaaaaaaay too much time in sports (we've even talked roto baseball last week).

My final point? I think I have an internet friend. This is only marginally creepy to me.

An unexpected thought process is set off...

So I'm watching an unnamed show on ABC tonight (hint: look closely) centering, of course, around the always juicy subject of adultery.

Now, I've gone on record previously that I have officially gotten down off my (highly hypocritical) high horse on this subject, but I still drew the line at, I guess the technical definition of, adultery. That shit ain't right... of course, technically (another Seinfeld reference) only one of the participating parties is truly committing adultery, in theory, but that's neither here nor there.

I know there are all kinds of "we grew apart" and "s/he doesn't satisfy my needs"-type reasons, and perhaps those can be quasi-valid when you're 40-something and have been married for 10-15 years, but really, if you're wandering before that, perhaps you just were too young to get hitched. Maybe you still had some wild oats to sew. I can't say I've ever had a relationship of any significance that didn't end with my mind having gone elsewhere, while perhaps other parts were still ostensibly quite involved in the current relationship. And on some level, maybe that's worse... You can almost always explain something as pure lust, but when you're intellectually checking out of a relationship, while still getting it regularly, well, maybe you're just not ready for any "real" commitment.

That's not to say that at some point I haven't seen myself ending up with different people I've dated. As guys go, I'm a long way from commitment-phobic. I've actually developed a concern that because I'm not as adverse to it, I might find myself ending up with the wrong person, regretting it immesurably, if for no other reason than I'd really prefer to do this once, and do it right (getting divorced is waaay too expensive for guys... and I'm pretty Scottish when it comes to that kinda stuff).

I'm not sure I have a point. Just some stuff to vent, really.....

There are two things I will always be a sucker for...

1. New flavour of Doritos
2. New flavour of Ben 'n Jerry's

Contrary to popular belief, I've been known to tell a pretty face to pound sand. Not often, but certainly more than never... which is about as often as I've been able to avoid the first two items noted.......

Following up....

With regards to the book review in the Atlantic I posted below, my buddy Andrew sent me a couple of links (this and this, the former actually referring to the article below, with the latter as a bit of a rebuttal) also delving into the subject.

I'm not necessarily going to draw any conclusions, I'm just saying that these are a nice (and humourous) point-counterpoint to the view expressed below, and if you find any of the subject matter remotely interesting, you'll like these, too.

Plane crash? I'd rather not... but for entirely different reasons......

So, not surprisingly, I managed to catch the first half of the Seinfeld Series Finale (a.k.a the worst ending to an otherwise incredible series) tonight. Why not surprisingly? Well, Monday night they were showing a clip show in the same timeslot, which led to a funny little constant-reference-to-Seinfled trip to Red Lobster, and of course included three bowls of Lobster Bisque to start....

George Costanza: You don't think she'd yada yada sex?
Elaine: [raising hand] I've yada yada'ed sex.
George Costanza: Really?
Elaine: Yeah. I met this lawyer, we went out to dinner, I had the lobster bisque, we went back to my place, yada yada yada, I never heard from him again.
Jerry: But you yada yada'd over the best part.
Elaine: No, I mentioned the bisque.

Anyway....

They're showing the part where their plane is going down, arguably the worst way to die short of drowning, imho, as you have a significant amount of time to think about stuff. Give me getting hit by a bus when I'm looking the other way any day. Seriously. Quick and painless. But whatever.... not my point. As they're thinking they're plummetting to their deaths, they start blurting out all these secrets and stuff.... well, you know what? Aside from it being a crappy way to die, I'm not overly sure I'd have much I'd need to get off my chest in that situation. I'm not saying I live a life of no regrets, far from it, but I like to think that I'm pretty open with those who are close to me, for better or for worse.

What am I saying? I guess if I were to die in a horrific plane crash with some of my closest friends, you can feel comfortable that you're not going to get much in the way of deathbed confessions. In fact, if you took a random assorment of people I know, it would take a very unfortunate sampling for me to have much to say under those circumstances.

I'm not sure what that means, or if it's necessarily even a good thing... but there you go.

Interesting Read

I recently read an article in The Atlantic Monthly regarding female sexuality, including why some women will choose food over sex, and the general idea as to why the female libido doesn't seem to "keep up" with that of their male partners.

I'm not going to spoil anything by explaining further, but it raises some very interesting points.

This is the link (do feel free to skip the survey), but as it is for a subscription article, I had to email it to myself, and the link will expire in 3 days. If this seems interesting to you after it has expired, drop me a line... I'll send you a copy.

Back to Work

Had a funny thing happen this morning. I walked into the second floor office in our building, and there was no computer on my desk. In fact, there were actually no computers anywhere, and even a few desks missing. All the files and drawings were still there. I honestly thought we had been robbed, or something, but then I notice that there's not a single soul around, and while that has happened before, it's pushing 9, so there really should be other people around.

Then it hits me. I guess we've moved back upstairs to the 5th floor, where the rest of the company is. You take one freaking day off, and they moved the damned office on you!!

Anyway, I get upstairs and before I even sit down, my boss is calling me and getting on me to have stuff for him by lunch. Serves me right for taking a day off..... grr..

Groups on Facebook

Not Facebook Groups, silly... I'm actually talking about distinctions between the various groups of friends I have. Facebook is a funny thing, because it somewhat forces you to label where you know people from, and it's kinda neat because one random circumstance or reconnection, and you can find an entire group of people you had lost contact with, or at least didn't know were part of this, admittedly stupid, yet wildly addictive, craze.

Anyway, my point is that I found it funny how surprisingly few of the groups and subgroups of friends I have overlap. There are the people I went to elementary school with, but since I chose to attend a different school from most of them after Grade 8, they are quite independant from my high school friends, who are generally split into friends from class and the football team, and it's kinda funny how my best high school friends who joined me at Queen's aren't actually on Facebook (yet?). Then with Queen's people, it splits further into drinking buddies (a.k.a. mostly rez friends), Apples I knew from class, and bandsies, again with surprisingly little overlap, really. Most recently, I have my work friends, and while there are a few funny 6-degrees kinda things going on, they are (aside from DC) entirely independant. Last but certainly not least, there are the piping and pipe band people. These relationships extend from before high school to new people I keep meeting even now, and also include (by far) the widest range of ages, from people who are almost contemporaries of my parents to several who were born in the in 90's, all brought together throught a common interest: drinking... er, I mean.... pipe bands. :)

(untitled)

You know, it's funny. I know I spew a lot of crap out here. I guess you could argue that it's over a fairly wide range of topics, but not always. I know I get stuck in a rut now and again, constantly referring to the same TV shows or sports teams, and if you don't necessarily care about that subject, then you're probably going to skim over it, at best, or perhaps even skip it entirely, but I'm guessing if you drop by here often enough, I must be writing something you find interesting at least semi-regularly.

The funny thing? I'd probably keep writing here even if not a single person read this space, as I actually find it cathartic to get thoughts out of my head. I can have a strange multitude of thoughts going through my head, and a huge number of them are really meritless, and I often get the most joy just writing something relatively long in order to just use one phrase that had been making me giggle for a few hours or days. Sometimes I'll write several paragraphs of filler just to make one point that I wanted to say to someone who I know reads, but didn't want to come right out a say to them.

But no matter how much I might overshare now and then, everything I write here is a complete thought. Sometimes not as eloquent as I'd like it, but that's often a sign that I've expended as much mental ennergy as I plan to on the subject. That said, half the reason to write things here is to get these thoughts out of my head in order to stop having them bounce around, taking time away from new ideas that might otherwise not see the light of day.

Anyway, do know that there's always a line. There are just some things I will never write about here. Maybe there's just too much WASP in me.

Like Pirates?

On the off chance you haven't seen this yet, here's what you might have been waiting for.

I might actually have to see this one unprompted....

You have to be kidding me

I actually won a coffee on Rrroll up the rrrim to win.

I'm stunned.

I think the fates are fucking with me....

A weekend of glutonous excess gets a kickstart from some strangers

So on my way home tonight, I had a few errands to run.

First stop, LCBO. Grabbed a coupla bottles of Panama Jack as Neil had expressed distress earlier in the day about locating any in Kingston. The guy at the checkout seemed to be smirking at me. I guess buying two bottles of Irish Cream Liquor that are the cheapest in the store, but were also on sale on March 16th is pretty trasnparent, but whatever...

Next stop, food. I go into BK cuz it's near the Beer Store, and when I'm in line, this dude, completed out of the blue, gives me a two-for-one coupon. Excellent.

Finally, the Beer Store. I grab a 12 of Keith's, and one of the workers yells out to me that the two-fours are on sale, and that I can get one for only $12 more. Sold. I also get 12 Guinness. The same guy that told me about the deal on the two-four brings them out, "Oh, you again... looks like a wild party!"

On that note, I'm likely gone for the weekend. Ideally returning sometime early next week. Until then, I leave you with some kitchy Irish jokes that I got in a fwd this week.....

***

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp "What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
"That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he mustt have had something in his hand."
"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"
That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

***

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.

A cop pulls him over.

"So," says the cop to the driver, where have ya been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk.
"For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

***

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.

"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks.
"I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me." "I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry.
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."

"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."

***

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.

He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? "
She says, He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'

***

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either!"

Because I'm twelve:

9:51: [commentator Bill] Raftery calls Memphis "one of the great spurt teams ... they have the ability to just explode from behind." It's like he's deliberately trying to get me fired.

From the "I'll give you one guess why" File:

9:27: CBS declines to run a "notable alumni" graphic for UNLV after determining that nobody's ever actually graduated from UNLV.

This is just great...

Major highlight from Simmons' Running Diary of Day 2:

Fascinating email from Phil in Salt Lake City: "Reading your running diary, you brought up two great points. Weber State and BYU both have smoking hot cheerleaders. Both schools are in Utah and both feature Mormon girls. (I am a Weber State Graduate '96). That is one of the magic allures of Utah -- the women are GORGEOUS! You will NOT find a school in America that has more better looking women than BYU. Weber State is not far behind, even though we only have about 16,000 students. Remember, the gene pool in Utah is shallow. Utahns marry Utahns and very few leave the state. Also, Utah women are chaste. Not just in the bedroom, but they don't drink, they don't smoke, they don't do a lot of damage to their bodies. They take care of themselves and they're always healthy. So there you go. Weber State and BYU will ALWAYS have smoking hot cheerleaders."

(House's response: "But if they don't put out, what's the point? Screw it, I'm still moving there. Where do I sign up for four wives.")

I already know this is going to come across snobby

You know how most offices have music playing? You know, something to keep people from going crazy from the incessant typing and mouse clicking? Well, my office is no different... except in one respect, and I can't figure out why this seems so weird to me.

On my floor, one of the partners was nice enough to bring in a radio to break the silence. He tuned it to classical-type music (one of the CBC stations, if I were to guess), which is actually not bad considering the wide variety of supposed "Easy Listening" stations which are, in fact, anything but easy to listen to. They actually sometimes make my ears bleed. But that's neither here, nor there....

Point being, a couple of my co-workers seemed to strenuously object (to borrow from Demi Moore in "A Few Good Men") to this choice of music, and switched it to more popular stations. Now, I'm a fan of just about every type of music out there (they could have switched it to quite literally anything, and it wouldn't have bothered me), but somehow the idea of Eminem blaring when a client walked into the office struck me as unprofessional. Maybe I'm a prude?

Anyway, it seemed that I wasn't the only person who felt this way, as the boss on my floor changed the radio back the following day. Which led to the same person changing the station back to the popular one. Is it too much to ask to submit to your bosses wishes as far as radio station selection goes? Especially considering he supplied the radio itself? Is classical music really all that objectionable?!? If anything, it has to be about the most work-conducive music to the greatest number of people (keeping in mind that we have people on this floor ranging in age from 25 to 76, with just about every demographic in between).

Am I really that beaten down from growing up around just adults that I don't mind when I'm expected to act like one? And who actively fights (this went on for about a week) with their boss over radio station, anyway? How childish is that?!? (not to mention stupid... he's your boss, remember... he can fire you!)

But my larger point is this: Since when was I part of a demographic (the people above that I have lumped into one person for the sake of literary continuity are all within a year of my age) that abhorred something that I thought was a universally loved art form. I had never considered the symphony, or anything of that nature to be overly snobby, or anything. I've certainly never really considered myself "cultured" (most of my familiarity with opera comes from Bugs Bunny in the Rabbit of Seville and What's Opera, Doc?, for crying out loud), it's just that I honestly thought everyone liked it, because, well... it's just good.

Apparently I was mistaken.

Well, I'm glad to see money isn't begin deverted to cancer research, or anything... you know... useful......

Holy shit.

There are no words.

Signs that perhaps you have a twisted sense of humour...

...or just a weird concept of "normal":

When you can read the following excerpt from a running diary of Day 1 of March Madness, and instead of thinking "Oh my God, that's vile!" you nod approvingly, and kinda wish you had thought of it yourself:

9:49: For the first time today, CBS has commercials going on all three games at the same time. That leads to this exchange:

Me: We gotta come up with a name for that phenomenon … it's like a whitewash, but with commercials.

House: Whatever the name is of the town rapist in 'Borat' -- that's what we should call it."

That leads to House googling the guy's name … it's Urkin. So that's what we'll call it. An Urkin.

PS: Yes, I admit I stole the idea for my running diary thing from Simmons...

PPS: "Whitewash" means all five players on the floor for a basketball team are white.

I haven't been this jealous of any friends in a while...

I just got a call from Amr and DC. From Buffalo. It was stupidly loud in the background because they had just watched VCU (no, you're not supposed to know who they are) beat Duke (the Evil Empire of NCAA basketball) in the opening round for the first big upset of this year's March Madness.

Okay, I'm pretty happy for them, too... and their idea to try to get tickets to the Sweet Sixteen/Elite Eight games in Detroit next year was pure genius........

Some especially random shit...

You know, I've always found getting your hair cut to be a surprisingly intimate experience. Actually, I've often thought the same about visiting the dentist, but that funny feeling of intimacy tends to disintigrate once the drilling starts.

In either case, you're dealing with very close physical encounters with people you only know in a very peripheral way. I guess you could argue this same point for one-night stand-type encounters, but that's not really the kind of intimacy I'm talking about. I think this has to do with more of a one-way exchange of contact, as you don't really get to cut their hair when your turn is over. Or at least not in any situation I've been a part of....

Okay, well maybe I'm nuts... or maybe this comes from my general lack of physical cotact with people on a day-to-day basis, or whatever. It's not that I shy away from physical contact, it's just not in my nature to touch people much beyond normal greeting/farewell kinda stuff... probably the predominantly British upbringing...

Sometimes I can't even believe the crap taht floats through my head.

Today's sign that I have entered the Real World:

On the first day of the NCAA Tournament (a.k.a. March Madness), a day that I have traditionally shirked any and all responsibility, I am sitting in a 4 hour conference call when the first game of the tournament tipped off.

Oh, and my feeling were not helped when I emerged from the conference room only to be reminded that Amr and DC are AT THE GAMES IN BUFFALO THIS WEEKEND!

St. Paddy's Day couldn't get here any fucking sooner...

Does anyone else believe in foreshadowing?

Whatever your answer, I just got this email from Neil, who lives about a block from the Tir-Nan-Og:

So...ummm.... after someone in our group gets kicked out of the Nog, you don't plan to grab a case of beer, head back to my place, order pizza and watch round 2 of March Madness.... good... neither do I

This can't bode well.... contingency plans don't need to come up days in advance, do they? Is this a bad sign??

Big Day!

Okay, so while these are kinda on the opposite ends of the "cool" spectrum, I like to straddle lines, and will therefore note that today is special for two reasons:

1. It's Pi Day!
2. Depending on who you listen to, it's either Steak 'n Sex Day, or Steak 'n BJ Day.

Unfortunately, barring an unforeseen turn of events, I'm not overly likely to be celebrating any of them.... well, maybe I'll have pie later...

I really do like Spring

I know we're about to dive back into reality, but two days of double-digit temperatures has really whetted my appetite for the spring to get here in earnest.

When you walk outside and it's not oppressively cold, I just find my shoulders are more relaxed, you stand up straighter and life just seems better.

Yes, I'll pass along a puff of whatever I'm smoking soon enough...

Let's try this again...

I don't know if anyone else enjoyed it, but I did, so I'm doing the running diary thing again with the Top 12 Show. Unfortunately, I'm not overly familiar with Diana Ross' catalogue, that's more my dad's type of music, but whatever...

8:14 - Picking this up a little late, I got to heard Brandon as I was rummaging my cupboards for food. It really wasn't great. No need to reiterate what Randy and Simon said, but Paula is just such an appologist. "We don't need to tell you what you did wrong"?!? Isn't that your fucking job, you stupid twit? (yes, I debated which vowel to use there..)
8:18 - "Simon, any advice on the high heels?"
"That's more you're thing, Ryan"
"Stay out of my closet!"
"Why don't you come out of there?"
That did not just fucking happen......
8:19 - How can you not love Melinda Doolittle??
8:20 - No, seriously.
8:22 - Crying? C'mon, seriously.... like, she was good, but pull your damned self together, Paula.
8:25 - What's with Jack Osbourne? I thought he had his own show now.... Oh, that's Chris? You're sure? Really? Oh, my bad.
8:27 - Jack actually did a nice job of that.
8:28 - Apparently Randy disagreed. And holy shit, Paula actually had a criticism. That must have really blown. And that's an o'fer from the judges. Turns out not knowing how it's "supposed" to sound gave me no frame of reference. But yeah, it did sound like "Speed of Sound".
8:35 - Diana, the fucking word is "enunciate"... "pronunciate" doesn't exist.
8:36 - Gina seems like a cool chick to grab a beer with. Oh, and she can sing a little, too...
8:38 - Christ... even Paula knows it's "enunciate".
8:39 - I want to punch Sanjaya in the friggin' face. Seriously.
8:45 - "Ain't no mountain..." always struck me as a powerful, inspiring song. I was bored by this dude.
8:47 - Holy crap... Paula said it best: "You have to explode with your vocals."
8:48 - Why does the audience always boo Simon? Seriously. Just cuz he says something that isn't nice and perky and blindly positive, doesn't mean it's not fucking true! Why should the truth be booed? This pisses me off.
8:51 - TB 2, TOR 1. You could argue the Leafs (sic) really need this one. Imminently winnable, and at home. With under 6 minutes to go in the second, they're clearly shitting the bed. If anything, they need to miss the playoffs again just to prove that it's not a fucking disaster. But nobody listens to me, anyway........
8:53 - "Haley, where's the craziest place you've ever....." Excuse me??!? Oh, sang....
8:57 - Haley, you're adorable, but that was not great.
8:58 - Paula stole my word....
8:59 - Simon must have the hots for her.
9:00 - Awe... actual humility. I think she just got the pity vote. I hope she gets a Mulligan.
9:01 - Hey... 2-2. Look at that. Leaf fans can have hope again!
9:07 - I can honestly say that I have never heard this Phil dude sing before. I'm not kidding when I say I ignored the guys up until now. Anyway, he's not awful, but generally unremarkable.
9:16 - LaKisha really has a great voice, and probably could have been a star back in the days before MTV and stuff. Yeah, I just went there. I'm an asshole. But don't pretend you're not thinking the same thing. Based purely on vocal talent, it's down to her and Melinda. That's all there is to it.
9:19 - Fucking Cowall just said that, too. Damn I'm good. :)
9:20 - Is it really necessary to have the "Dramatization" tag at the bottom of the screen for the DQ Flamethrower burger add? Really? Are we that stupid? Oh... I see.
9:26 - Hey... Blake's doing an Alvin and the Chipmunks song! This I like.... no really, I love that song. Maybe I know more Diana Ross than I thought.
9:27 - Actually, this is pretty cool.
9:30 - I think I absorbed a lot more Motown from my dad than I realize. I really do enjoy that genre. Note to self: Download more.
9:34 - Well lookie here... Leafs (sic) are up 3-2! Who knew?
9:35 - What the hell was that? A lighter? I kinda missed that flipping back from TSN... lil' help? I'm curious why Simon looked so pissed off when they cut back from the clip thingy.
9:37 - I think Stephanie is comfortably near the top of the second tier of singers. She'll be around for a while, and has the stage presence to go a long way.
9:39 - Not familiar enough with the song to know the "disco" part.... so no clue what they're all talking about. Perhaps this needs to be a track I download sooner rather than later. If nothing else, for curiosity's sake.
9:40 - "I'm not any different from you, except I'm older" ... cute, Ms. Ross, cute.
9:41 - Wow... Maira wasn't kidding. This dude really is a JT impersonator. Except this is striking me as, to steal from a certain judge, bad karaoke.
9:42 - Check that... it's just plain bad. Talk about out of his comfort zone.
9:43 - Did Paula just say he was one of the best guys? That's hardly a compliment....
9:44 - Thank gawd... someone else thought it sucked. I was starting to think I was losing my mind. I'll give you one guess as to which one broke the truth to him. He should be fine tho, cuz there were worse.
9:46 - Leafs are still up... And Miami has made quite the comeback against Utah 83-83 after being down double digits last time I checked... too bad they're toast this year with D-Wade out. Shaq's just not a crunchtime scorer. You just foul him, and he'll get pissed off and brick his free throws. Not a tenable playoff plan.
9:52 - Huh. That was really good. What a smile at the end, too.
9:53 - Perhaps an overstatement to say she is in the company of Melinda and LaKisha, but she's damned good. I'd almost call her the winner now, for marketability reasons and general popularity.

Either way, if those were the top 6 guys, I'm glad I fucking ignored them. They blew.

Gina's my favourite, but I'm going to say it again.... I'm making the call on Jordin winning tonight. Mark my words. That said, a label would be insane to not sign Melinda and LaKisha once they're off the show. Deyz got talent....

PS: 1:09 left, Leafs still up 3-2..... and the Leafs manage to survive Antropov breaking a Don Cherry axiom: Don't clear up the middle. Seriously... how do they keep this douchebag around? If anything I cheer against the Leafs, but this guy keeping his job annoys me.

10:02 - Game over. Oh Chirst... that dipshit Antropov got the game winner........ oy.

This has happened at least twice that I can think of

Me (finishing coffee, about to throw cup in garbage)
Girl across from me: Wait! Aren't you going to check to see if you won?
Girl beside her: Oh, he never wins.....
Me: {sigh} Right.. of course..... (rrrolling up the rrrim)... I won another "Please Play Again"....

If this same exchange happens tomorrow, I'm going to redefine the phenomenon of "Going Postal". I'm serious.

Try me.

I have the POWER!!

So Sunday morning, as five of us sat there in Odie's apartment flipping through his DVDs, we came across He-Man and the Masters of the Universe - Seasons 1 & 2.




I was beside myself. I couldn't get it into the player fast enough, and once it was playing I was positively giddy. I really just couldn't believe how much I enjoyed watching a couple episodes of poorly animate kids' programming. I think this is what qualifies as nostagia, and it kinda scares me that I'm old enough to feel nostalgic. The fact that one of the guys was too young to remember He-Man at all (he's in first year) floored me, but I guess that does make sense.

I also couldn't believe that I actually remembered all their names, and even had vague recollections of the episodes themselves!

Okay, I think I need to stop talking here... perhaps I'm over stimulated... but I'm now curious how many other shows might have similar effects on me... a small list:

1. Transformers (don't even get me started about the movie this summer... judging by how much I like their existing - read: dated - animated one, I'm not sure I can discuss this rationally)
2. Thundercats
3. GoBots (yes, a cheap rip-off of Transformers, but damnit... I loved them, too! They were like Coke vs. Pepsi when I was 5!!)
4. G.I. Joe (without question... I need to find that movie somewhere)

I'm sure there's more... but my brain is about to explode. Maybe I should try decaf tomorrow morning....

Discount Flashback Warehouse

What the hell is this?

Last week it was Stone Cold Steve Austin.... this week it's Dwayne Johnson a.k.a. The Rock.

I know we changed the clocks this weekend, but I thought it was forward one hour....not back 5 years.

WTF, mate?

Pho Sho!

For lunch today, I was reunited with one of my favourite foods.

I haven't had Pho since I left my old job, if for no other reason than I knew that the place near my old job was so good, I was actually afraid that I had been spoiled.

Well, today DC suggested Pho for lunch, and knowing that, especially for a while guy, he knows his Asian food, so I went along. I was encouraged, as there were Asian people eating there (always a good sign).

Yum. I can't put into words how much I had missed it. This place definitely got two thumbs up from us, but as Dave said, "We need to bring Naing and Sonya sometime to get the official Asian seal of approval."

Why work sucks

I think I covered about a month ago that I miss not having reading week (or maybe I didn't... fuct if I'm going to check that far back), and the feeling is back.

Work needs to have a March Break, too.

I'm not sure this is the healthiest way to go about it, but...

... much like my plan to avoid jet lag, not sleeping on the night when you lose an hour does have the added advantage that you aren't hit by the loss of just one hour.

Of course, you're crippled by the fact you have only had about 5 hours sleeping the previous 60 hours and your body basically shuts down once you give it a moment's rest... but the difference being you couldn't care less about daylight savings time. :)

Chris Simon has the book thrown at him

I couldn't have been happier to hear about the Simon suspension.

It was a thug move, and it sickens me to hear guys talking about what "a good guy" the dude is. It was impusive, yes, but he still did it with malice. He deserves to be punished accordingly.

As long as you're willing to ignore some of the horricifc human rights violations...

... there are some aspects of the island of Yap that intrigue me, such as:

On the outer islands of Yap, Western clothing is banned and men and women are required to go shirtless at all times. On the main island, also called Yap, the entire population is required to go topless on certain days of the year to celebrate traditions.

But this one made me giggle:

Chief Ruepong says any Yapese who want to abandon traditional ways should leave.

"If they don't want to be topless, they can live in Guam,"

I don't even have a follow up to that... much like James Carvelle in Old School, "That was perfect."

Startling Observation

Okay, I know that my natural face has a tendancy to be slightly frown-y (I think this is mere genetics, and I blame my dad... his natural face is downright morose), but I was out yesterday, and I couldn't help but notice that there are a disproportionate number of sad looking people around.

Is it that there are really that many people with "natural" sad faces? Or are we really living in a society where people are that sad?

On some level, I think this is a completely inadvertant preview to an upcoming post inspired by a book I'm reading right now, although I probably wouldn't have noticed if I wasn't reading it.

Now that's what I call a tease! Only I'm not sure anyone gives a rat's ass....

With all due respect, you're going to be waiting a long fucking time

It's funny how sometimes certain lyrics will set off a thought process. This happened recently when I heard the (relatively) new John Mayer track.

I couldn't help thinking that this was perhaps logical, but unlikely thinking. Yes, in time, people from our generation will be running things, but won't those people, in fact, be hand-picked and groomed by the current establishment? While I would totally agree that there are many times fewer people that agree with the current establishment in our age group, I can't help but imagine that when choosing successors, they are likely to stand out to those making the decisions.

Yes, I know this is a bleak outlook. I'm sorry. But the idea that we can passively wait until things do change, imho, is basically a crock.

I spent a surprising amount of time this summer listening to a guy in the band expounding the virtues of anarchy, and while that might be a bit extreme, I can't help but admit that he may have been on to something.

There aren't really two sides to every story

The painfully moronic Steve Phillips on ESPN.com will try to have you believe that there is another side to the otherwise pretty cool story of redemption being written about Josh Hamilton by just about every other baseball writer around.

Basically, Hamilton was the first overall pick of the draft in 1999, got all fucked up on all kinds of drugs, and was out of baseball from 2003-2005. Now he's in camp with the Cincinnati Reds and looking good enough to make their opening day roster. Phillips' basic point is that this is sending the wrong message to the good, wholesome prospects who behave themselves, and otherwise work hard 'n stuff.

Bullshit.

The dude has other-wordly ability when it comes to hitting a baseball, and now that he has cleaned his life up (reportedly), why shouldn't he get the chance to be the player he's capable of being? The only bad side of this, as it relates to the Reds, is that this dude is better than most of the players they have under contract, despite only having 50 at-bats since 2002.

(read Phillips' version, or the more common [read: happy] version of the story from the far more respected, not to mention intelligent, Jason Stark)

A must read for any movie buffs

No explanation. If you like cool movies go here and start reading. As Phil Knight says, "Just do it."

Also, make sure you read the comments. Always good stuff in there!

Indisputable proof that women are more superficial than men:

(a.k.a.: Battle of the talentless hacks)

Antonella Barba doesn't make the top 12, but Sanjaya whatever his name is does.

Who the hell is winning all this shit?

I feel the need to weigh in on this whole rolling of rims thing....

I currently have a minimum of three people on my MSN list keeping tallies of their current exploits in rim rolling. They are a combined one for six hundred and forty-three billion (that is an estimate).

Yes, I have noted at my local Timmy's that between Wednesday and Thursday, the "Winners at this Location" jumped from 200 to 320.

I can assure you, I did not contribute to this total. But my larger question is this: Who did?!?

I'm just glad I'm better at rolling Js than I am rims...... keeps me calm when I lose. :)

Today isn't just Thursday

It's also swag day!

Today I actually had to turn down a free lunch in our office in order to attend a luncheon at Shell to mark the completion of a major project from last year.

Our company received a plaque commemorating that the project was completed without any lost time injuries, and all that good stuff, and the two of us who were involved with the project from our office proceeded to get new leather jackets (as did everyone else involved in the project).

Yes, you read that correctly.

By the time I made to back to the offce, there was still enough left from the planned lunch here to have a second lunch. Good times.

Oh, and I also got a letter and/or milk bag opener from the safety company on site there.

Big day.

Okay, maybe I don't hate everyone

I will admit that I have shit on just about everyone else that lives in this building at one time or another. That said, there are some good people here, but in the classic "squeaky wheel" kinda way, I never really talk about them.

The couple down in Apt. 2 have always been cool... from the very first week when I locked myself out while moving in, to today, when Jason gave me a big bottle of Alfred Sung cologne for nothing.

See, he's the Loss Prevention Manager for Sephora at the Eaton's Center, and has more of their crap than he can posibly use. His wife is actually sick of getting all the makeup and stuff they'd be throwing out, anyway, but allow him to take home.

The fact that they have a quiet, polite, little boy is a point for them, too.

Just when you thought you had fallen as far as you could, remember you can always drop one more rung...

May I present to you, the host of The Search for the NEXT Doll:

Mark McGrath.

The lesson here, kiddies? Don't blow your 15 minutes.

I guess Super Cat wasn't available?

My life as a living, breathing paradox

I negotiate almost $2M worth of work for Shell, then I come home and shoot my socks into the laundry hamper like basketballs from across the room.

I am pound wise, and penny foolish.

I get blackout drunk on a semi-regular basis, but make monthy RRSP contributions.

I want to buy a house shortly, but an underlying reason is so that I can throw a housewarming kegger.

I have tentative plans to travel to Ibiza this summer, but it is all pending the stage that the above-noted project's contruction has reached.

I partied for 3 days in Vegas, and got back less than 12 hours prior to a client meeting.

The angrier I get, the less I swear, and the more likely I am to drop one a' dem $10 words.

I act like an irresponsible jerk, and yet everyone seems to trust me.

Old people are funny because they say things to get reactions out of you...

... but sometimes they're deadly serious, but just using a hint of Devil's Advocate in order to make more extreme statements.

Now, I don't know if this is a bad idea to bring up, or if I'm opening a can of worms I don't meant to here, as judging from the other side of this discussion, some people have very very strong feelings about these types of things... but here we go, anyway.......

Earlier this week, one of the older guys in our office (age: 76) somehow managed to get himself into a discussion with a young lady in the office (age: 26) about weddings. With her wedding pending, she was going on about how it pissed her off that her husband was being a dick about stuff when it came to wedding planning. Basically, he wanted nothing to do with it.

The old guy took ahold of this, and started pressing.... Why do you need all this crap? Why do you need a big ring? An expensive dress? A big white limo? 300 or 400 people? Does any of that really matter? If you really love the guy, you should be willing to marry him with none of that fanfare, just with a minister and witnesses, and that should be enough.

Her argument being that they could afford it, so why not?

He started going on about women who demand to have this and that, and how it starts being more about the wedding than about the marriage. Even going so far as to say that he has been to enough weddings that he can tell with (in his opinion) 80% accuracy if the marriage will last just from the wedding. Too big means that it is sure to fail, as the bride was more caught up in getting married and having a big wedding than she was with the gentleman beside her.

When they attempted to drag me into it, I argued that they weren't arguing the same point.

She was just saying that since they can afford this stuff, why not? It's not her main priority, she'd just kinda like to have it. I guess he was arguing that it wasn't necessary, no matter your financial situation, but the reality is that people will pay for perceived excess if they can afford to.

I guess my point here, is that I couldn't help but think while I was on my way home, that if you truly love someone, the idea of marriage shouldn't be about the chance to have some huge wedding... it should be about two people agreeing to (hopefully) spend their lives together. And whether that happens with a JOP at City Hall on a Wednesday afternoon, or with great pomp and circumstance, it should always be secondary to the fact that two people are getting married.

Always.

PS: I'm just going to avoid the old guy's argument about white wedding dresses.........

PPS: Oh, and rings, too. :)

Couldn't have said it better myself

While I am a staunch boxer guy, Rob Neyer put it so eloquently, I couldn't pass it up:

I don't believe in the Man's rules, man. Boxers, briefs, commando . . . depends on the weather and the activity. And sometimes you just wear whatever's on top of the basket.

Amen.

No, seriously... someone has to get this chick to learn how to sing by tomorrow night......

I noted last week that she has a fabulous ass, but seriously... how can you not vote for someone who looks like this?

Can't she just learn how to sing a little bit? Just a smidge?

You know, so she can "justifiably" stay on the show?

Please??

I never really noticed

As I watch the Raptors shit the bed again tonight against the Wizards, I can't help but notice that the biggest difference lately is the injury to Anthony Parker.

They went 6-6 when Chris Bosh was out... 3-1 when TJ Ford was out..... and are likely in the process of dropping to 1-4 without Parker.

Most people would point to CB4 and Ford as their top two players, but I guess we see who the real "Glue Guy" is now.

Thankfully, Parker should be back by the weekend.

I hate to admit this...

...but I'm going to anyway.

I think I got a little too excited when I flipped over to The Score last night during the commercials of The Black Donnellys and found out that "Stone Cold" Steve Austin is back.

It seems he's going to be the Guest Referee in the Battle of the Billionaires at Wrestlemania (please don't ask how I know all this... please?).

Anyway, I was a little too excited to see the guy who had his gimmick stolen by John Cena come back to WWE.

Even if he is incredibly out of shape........

If that was foreshadowing, I'm not sure I want to be involved with this anymore

Saturday night was potentially a leetle bit of a preview of what awaits some of us in a couple of weeks.

Jenna and Paul were in town, and we met up with DC and Kyle at Bryden's for a coupla drinks.

That turned into us getting cut off by a bartender that has known me by name for like 6 years.

Me: Hey, J.D. ... can you grab us another pitcher when you get a chance?
Bartender: Okay, but that's your last one.
Me: What?
Bartender: Yeah, that's number 9.
Me: But there were five of us before. Two of them just left.
Bartender: That's exactly why I'm cutting you off.
Me: Harsh.

After DC and Kyle left, we also found ourselves making friends with middle aged regulars. This is turning into a bit of a pattern, as the same thing happened at Rhea's in Kingston the last time I was there.

Anyway, it turned out we didn't need any more beer, as we were cut off at like 1am with a full pitcher and about 3/4' s of a pint each... but whatever. We headed back to my place, where we of course emptied the beer fridge while watching Old School... and then started watching Rounders (ah, the joys of the 5-DVD changer), until.....

"Um, what time is it?"
"About ten to five."
"We should probably get to bed."
"Good call."

Keep in mind that this was just on an arbitrary Saturday night, going out under the premise of watching the Raptor and/or Leaf games (neither were worth watching, in the end). What might Green Beer Day bring out in us? Only time will tell.

And to beat a rather witty analogy to death: Don't bring your training wheels, cuz you'll just get hurt.

Life of Bryan

So I'm watching the Raptors tonight against the Bucks. Good game so far, but the noteworthy part is that it's against the same team new GM Bryan Colangelo made one of his first notable moves this past offseason with, trading Charlie V. for T.J. Ford, seemingly breaking a cardinal rule in the NBA of trading big for small.

Well, that move has panned out pretty well, as Big Smooth (he has some kind of alopecia, or something, where he has no body hair) has been injured all season, and T.J. has paired with Jose Calderon to form about the best point guard combination in the NBA.

But that wasn't really my point here. The idea was how quickly Colangelo has been able to change the overriding feelings in the organization, and I have a theory as to how he did it. Really, the difference between a good team and a bad team in the NBA is as close as you can get in any major sport, and a lot has to do with attitude. And Bryan brought in guys who are talented, but in the cases of some of the complimentary pieces, they've also grown used to winning in their careers.

The talent, like Andrea Bargnani, well, that (while debated by the talking heads at the time) was just an addition of pure talent.

T.J. Ford led his team at Texas to the Final Four.

Jorge Garbajosa won all kinds of awards, both individual and team, including 2002-03 All-Euroleague First Team honours, being named 2003 Eurobasket.com Player of the Year and the 2005 and 2006 Spanish Cup Finals MVP.

Anthony Parker was the two-time Euroleague MVP after being humbled as a scrub in his first go-around in the NBA.

Rasho Nesterovic, who he got for useless bits and pieces, is a valuable role player who won an NBA Championship with Tim Duncan in San Antonio, and so clearly knows how to win while playing off a star PF like CB4.

Even some of the more useful players he kept around, like MoPete, saw Final Four action while at Michigan State. And Jose Calderon hasn't been in the NBA long enough have bought into the losing atmosphere. He also won the 2006 FIBA World Championship along with Garbajosa on the Spanish team.

I'm not going to give him credit for hanging onto Chris Bosh. He just knew how to surround him with players that made his life easier.

Hard to believe the same management group that knew enough to hire Colangelo (who also built the Steve Nash-led Phoenix Suns) is also responsible for the abortion being overseen by JFJ under the same roof.

Edit: I forgot about new addition, Juan Dixon, and his National Championship while at Maryland. Also, he just seems to love playing with these guys. You can just tell by the passes they make and the shots they take.